Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

What the hell is going on with my mom?

I'm getting fed up! She is the person I've always gone to first and now I don't want to tell her anything. So I had a rough childhood I'm 30!! We are going to buy a house, she says are you sure you want to do that? I get offered management at my job,"are you sure you can handle that"or "don't be dissapointed if you don't get it" well, I did get it and she was the only one not supportive. Now I post a pic of my new puppy on facebook and she lectures me on a comment about what a responsibility he is and hope he's worth it..I have four kids and they are all alive!!! My life is going so good and she's the only one not getting it! She hates that I forgave my dad for leaving and that we are friends. His heart stopped 3 times! I called her crying and she just said,"now you knew this was going to happen sometime!You can't afford to go out there!". I was always closest to her! I don't get it!!

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:37 PM on Nov. 14, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • She probably is going through a hard time. You know when someone is really into watching a movie and you tell them something or ask them something and they just dont' seem to care, or even hear you...but they try to act like they do a little. Well you're mom is probably so caught up in thinking about her own life and relationships that she can't bring her self to concentrate on your life..especially if she is envious of your achievments and relationships!
    babychappellmom

    Answer by babychappellmom at 11:43 PM on Nov. 14, 2009

  • Maybe she is competing with my mom for "Inappropriate and Excessive Negativity Queen" gold medal. Stop answering the phone when she calls. I answer sometimes and tell my mom I'm on the toilet. Hoping she realizes she is so full of crap it's giving me the poops!

    Don't try to rationalize the reason for her insanity. Saying that it's bc you forgave your dad is just an excuse. That doesn't make it fair for her to say cruel things to you.

    Mine pulls the crap about the dogs. She has actually excluded me from family events on the grounds that my dogs would give her parasites and tells me daily that my baby will die because of them.
    ecodani

    Answer by ecodani at 11:44 PM on Nov. 14, 2009

  • She is not happy inside, even if you can't see it. She might hide it well. Anyway, she is projecting her own self doubt, especially since she "failed" being a wife and mother. I am not saying she did fail, but she probably thinks she did. Her husband left, and maybe she wasn't the best mom she could be back then. In her mind, she failed. Her self doubt is coming out on you. In her own way, she is trying to protect you from making her "mistakes". Maybe you could try talking to her in depth, and ask her straight out why she does those things. Don't sound like you're attacking her though. Start off letting her know that you love being able to come to her for advice and sharing your good news. Ask her if anything is bothering her, and lead up to asking why she acts the way she does with you. Good luck!
    NightPhoenix

    Answer by NightPhoenix at 11:44 PM on Nov. 14, 2009

  • Wow she sounds bitter. Just continue to love and care for her as always only she knows what she is going through. Take care of yourself and your kids and the puppy :)
    Butterfly1108

    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 11:46 PM on Nov. 14, 2009

  • I think your mother is just worried about you. Moms hate to see their kids disappointed you know tthat as a mom. I don't think she means to be negitive just worried. The best way to handle anything is to put yourself in her shoes---if it were your daughter what would you say--feel. thats the one thing about moms they keep it real, in check and are always changing
    ohio4

    Answer by ohio4 at 11:51 PM on Nov. 14, 2009

  • She says she's got too much going on at work and I understand. I've tried to help! And her hating my dad is NOT an excuse. Maybe it was read wrong. I actually get angry with her because she acts so threatened by our relationship. He was an alcoholic and abusive so they divorced and he left the state. She remarried and told me he was my dad. I love him too. I just hate how she gets when I mentin my sisters(dad's kids)or him. I feel like why should I cater to her feelings! She picked him to be my dad not me!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:51 PM on Nov. 14, 2009

  • She's a practical woman. I think she's trying to keep you balanced. She seems ok to me.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:09 AM on Nov. 15, 2009

  • She probably has hard feelings knowing that you, her daughter is friends with the man that she tried to protect you from, that abused her. Consider her feelings and put yourself in her shoes.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:06 AM on Nov. 15, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN