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Custody question plz respond

Ok here is the thing i'am 38 weeks pregnant i'm still with my babys father this is his first child but my 3rd.....i think he is trying to take the baby away when he is born which is 8 days from now by c-section....Thing is he puts beer and his friends first when they call with beer he leaves for 8 to 10 hours and he does it alot he has no job i'am paying the rent and bills here where we live. He wont bond with my kids i feel like he dont like them.....I'am planning to leave him and move back home which is 3 hours from here can i leave soon as the baby is born or can he stop me we are not married......he says he will change when the baby comes but if he can't change for me then it's not worth there anything i cn do to file for custody myself where he cant take him? any advice will help he is not ready to be a father...

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 12:15 AM on Nov. 15, 2009 in Pregnancy

Answers (8)
  • First of all good luck in the next few days. Second it is very hard to get sole custody if the father wants to be a part of the childs life. They would have to be proven unfit. Most likely you will get joint custody but sole placement. Meaning you still have to stay in contact about medical and schooling, and he can see the child (depending on the court order).

    Also it is VERY difficult for a father to take a newborn away from the mother unless he can prove the mother is unsafe and on drugs, etc. I wouldn't worry too much about him taking the baby away (don't allow him to be alone with the child).

    I would advise you to leave right away and not put his name on the birth certificate when the baby is born. Make him fight for it, can draw it out for a few months. Otherwise I would start keeping records of his behavoir now, so you have evidence later on!

    Answer by 54313MomOf4Boys at 12:20 AM on Nov. 15, 2009

  • I second that you start keeping records of his behavior now. He cannot stop you from leaving but you must provide visitation or half custody if that is awarded in court. That would mean driving half way or switching off making the drive.

    What do you mean? Has he said something or shown some sign that he might try to take the baby? Do you mean he would kidnap the baby or try to get custody in court?

    Answer by Bellarose0212 at 12:41 AM on Nov. 15, 2009

  • I third that he is blowing smoke up your a**. He cannot take your baby from you. I would do what the first post says and definately not put his name on the birth certificate. Then he will need a blood test to determine if he is the father. If he is acting like that, I would just leave. Unless he changes pronto. Good luck to you. Sorry your going through this when your about to have a baby.

    Answer by tree1997 at 1:22 AM on Nov. 15, 2009

  • The biological mother(YOU) has all rights to the child, until he is proven he is the father. If it comes back that he is the father, you need to make arrangments on custody. I have been through this so I know. No if he isn't the father then he has no rights to the baby.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:31 AM on Nov. 15, 2009

  • Don't file for custody; you are the birth mother you are the custodial parent until you are taken to court and the judge decides different. Leave when baby is born; he can't stop you unless you've went to court already (then you have to clear it with the court). Don't put his name on the birth certificate and if anyone asks you who the father is say you don't know. Don't admit in the court that he is for sure the father, say you do not know and want a paternal test done before he is awarded any rights. My suggestion is to leave before you have to go to court.

    Answer by heartfrommyson at 1:57 AM on Nov. 15, 2009

  • he would jut take off with out court orders

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:34 AM on Nov. 15, 2009

  • no court yet i doubt he will im more worried he will up and leabe he has family i pr and florida i will not say he is the father i just want out to much drama with him and his drinking...thanks so much for all your advice

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:36 AM on Nov. 15, 2009

  • Do not list him as father on the birth certificate, and find out what security measures the hospital has in place for the newborns. Make sure he is NOT on the allowed list to visit the baby, and that he does not get a band to allow him access to the baby. Have your other children stay with family or friends while you are in the hospital, so that you know your children are safe. When you go to pack, leave the kids with someone safe, and ask for a police escort to stay while move your things out (if you all even live together). Until a court order is in place, since you two aren't married, he has no legal standing to take the child.

    Answer by laird6372 at 5:53 AM on Nov. 15, 2009

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