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looking for biological mom .....

I have a friend that has been searching for her birth mom for years. She was born in Hawaii and she knows her birth name and the name of the hospital but not her moms name. The story she was told is that DFS took her away while her mom was fighting and begging them not to(she was about 5 months old). Her mom that adopted her basically did it for the money and she was in a girls ranch most of her teen life and shewont give her anymore information. She is 24. My question is is it possible that the hospital could help? Any information on how she might even get a lead on this would be appreciated.

Answer Question

Asked by heavenlypeace at 12:22 AM on Nov. 15, 2009 in Adoption

Level 4 (37 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • It depends on the terms of the adoption. Start at the hospital and maybe contact the state to get copies of the adoption paper work. Much of this info is a matter of public record unless the terms of the adoption keep it private.

    Answer by ecodani at 12:27 AM on Nov. 15, 2009

  • Why wouldn't her birth cerificate have her birth mothers name on it if she was not adopted till she was 5 months old . The birth cerificate is done at the time of delivery. I was ask the hospital for help or ask the DFS to unseal your record that has your birth mothers info.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:29 AM on Nov. 15, 2009

  • OP HERE---- When she was adopted her name was changed and she got a different birth certificate. Her mom will not give her the one with her bio moms name on it. Her mom is mean and has very little to do with her or her kids.

    Answer by heavenlypeace at 12:40 AM on Nov. 15, 2009

  • Anon, that's a very interesting question and the answer is rediculous but truthful. When a child is adopted in the United States, his or her birth certificate is altered to show the names of the adoptive parents as though they gave live birth and sometimes the date of birth is even altered. Most states allow the adoptive parents to even change the place of birth to the adoptive parent's town/city of residence. The original certificate that the adoptee is born with is then sealed, illegal to access. A birth mother could go to the state with her adult adoptee and demand the certificate and they still wouldn't give it to either of you. Kansas and Alaska are the only two states that do not seal birth certificates in this way and there are a small handfull more that allow the unsealing of original birth certificates once adoptees have reached adulthood. Hawaii is not one of these states.

    Answer by NovemberLove at 12:52 AM on Nov. 15, 2009

  • This is the info that I have on Hawaii:
    Original Birth certificate at 18 for those adopted after 1991, if no disclosure veto is on file. Post 1991 if waiver is on file, adoptees may obtain records, if not, a Confidential intermediary is assigned to obtain waiver from birth parents. If the birth parents are not found in 120 days, adoptees are granted access to records. Birth parents rules are the same, and may obtain an original birth certificate.
    State Adoption Dept: Dept. of Human Svcs., Child & Family Svcs., P. O. Box 339, Honolulu, HI 96809-0339 (808) 548-2211.
    State Reunion Registry: No formal registry on state level. 1st Circuit Family Court maintains a registry for the 1st circuit only.

    Answer by NovemberLove at 12:56 AM on Nov. 15, 2009

  • *I should say most states do not allow unrestricted access--most require you to petition a court which means you stand before a judge and your access to identity is in his/her hands (which isn't as hopeful as it sounds). You can get your info in Hawaii if you were born after 1991 when you reach adulthood and if your original parents give you permission. If you were born before 1991, you must petition the court. It appears as though petitioning the court may refer your friend to someone that may do a search for her first mother in order to obtain permission for records--she'll have to see. I'm not a Hawaii adoptee although I do have a general knowledge of record access laws in all 50 states. Now if anyone wants to know about Tennessee or Pennsylvania, I could probably recite those laws by heart lol.

    Answer by NovemberLove at 1:10 AM on Nov. 15, 2009

  • The hospital is not permitted by law to give you any information that the law does not allow. She must petition the court system to *attempt* to unseal her records (there's no guarantee). What she can try to do is write the hospital a letter addressed to the "Medical Records Department" and ask for copies of the medical records pertaining to birth certificate # (put the number of her amended birth cert) and enclose a check for $20, hoping that will cover the cost and their troubles finding the information. The may or may not be able to help you but they cannot give you a birth certificate and there is no guarantee that the information you'll receive, if any, will be identifying--especially not for an adopted person. Generally, an adopted person is not legally entitled to their life pre-adoption.

    Good luck to your friend!

    Answer by NovemberLove at 1:13 AM on Nov. 15, 2009

  • my mom is adopted...she isnt sure if the birthdate she has is hers im not realy sure if it says the bios parent(s) names are on it or her adoptive parents?but good suggestion and question!

    Answer by mamabear0824 at 3:38 AM on Nov. 15, 2009

  • I really feel for her! I do! I wish I had any helpful knowledge! Be strong! Persue any avenues of resources and suggestions! But keep in mind it may not end well! You've got to be prepared for that too! We all hope for the Happy Answer! The happy Ending! Why not also look for the birth Father? That's who I'm looking for! He isn't even listed on my birth certificate! I don't think hospitals are too Helpful! At the one I was born in. I was kept & raised by the RN that worked there! I survived a Sad, lied to, 'abused life! That RN I found Dead when I was 13. Her DH was the meanest man that lived. Illeterate too. I did locate my Bio mom when I was 19 & pregnant! I was told to not leave the town I lived in. But I drove with my DH to find her! She was 47 & dying of breast cancer! It was hard! She didn't know what to say to me besides I'm Sorry. I couldn't even tell her she was to be a Grandma. I hope it works out for your Friend!

    Answer by Angellinda at 9:59 AM on Nov. 15, 2009

  • ANGELLINDA, I am sorry to hear about your journey, it is a nightmare that MOST ALL of us First Moms, wish never to hear, yet worry that indeed that is the life,we threw our children into. I send a huge HUG to you;) I wish you much luck i locating your First Dad, so many do not think to locate their First Ddas, for fear of them not being aware they even existed, or they do not ask their First Moms, for fear of "hurting' her feelings. OP , this is NOT the case, tell your friend, she has EVERY RIGHT to know and find ALL her original family, and to NEVER fear asking is her RIGHT. I am a First Mom, and I am the only one resposible for my past actions, if and when I get the chance to meet my twin sons, I will most certainly let them know, they may feel free to ask me ANYTHING, and I will only give them what they desrve....totoal honesty! Blessings, an good luck, C.J.

    Answer by ceejay1 at 11:49 AM on Nov. 16, 2009

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