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Married but feel like a single parent.

My "husband" never spends anytime with his 2 little girls. He comes home from work and goes straight to his video games, or he will be on his cell phone when he gets home and ignores the girls, Hello daddy, and he walks right by them and goes to the damn bedroom and stays there till bed time.

The girls can be screaming and crying and he does not come out to see what is wrong with them, only time he comes out is when he gets tired of them crying and screaming then he comes out and points at them to go to bed.

The girls want to spend time with him but the video game is much more important. I'm getting so damn tired of it, they want to watch tv with their daddy but NOOOOOOO he is to busy with his cellphone buddies or his "child" video game. I get no help with the girls he makes me so mad.

He tells me I sleep all damn day, I wake up at 8am with the girls, and I'm here all day with them

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 1:28 AM on Nov. 15, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • Time for couples counseling.

    Answer by outstandingLove at 1:30 AM on Nov. 15, 2009

  • Wow! Sounds like your husband doesn't even want to be there. Have you tried to talk to him about this? Maybe suggest couseling? I would and if he didn't want to go I would ask him why he even stays there with you and the girls. I don't know any man who treats his children like that.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:32 AM on Nov. 15, 2009

  • I am so there with you. I am a brand new mom of a 5 mnth old girl. I am a full time student. I am completely stressed and when I bring it up, he tells me that he needs a break because he has worked all day. When and where do I get a break? I go to school, stay up with her at night, cook and clean. I am sry I turned this into my gripe fest :) but you are definately not alone in that situation. sounds just like mine.

    Answer by gonnabeamomma09 at 1:34 AM on Nov. 15, 2009

  • tried to talk to him, but he doesn't listen just gets mad and tells me i'm a bitch, and he would not go to counsling, if he will not go to church with us he will not go to counsling.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:37 AM on Nov. 15, 2009

  • Get used to it. It's not going to change until he is in your shoes and can have a little appreciation for the tough job you do. I deal with it by calling my girlfriends that are in the same predicament. I also work from home which gives me something to look forward to. It's what I can do....Definately would suggest couples counseling. Good luck :o)

    Answer by KaceesMom at 1:40 AM on Nov. 15, 2009

  • Aw honey, I'm sorry! This sounds like its much deeper than him not spending time with the kids. Was he this much of an a** before the kids came along? I would seriously consider seperation in hopes that he realizes you are serious about what you need. Hopefully that can be a wake up call that counselling is essential for you guys. Even though he is the father of your children, he doesn't sound like the type of man you'd even want them around. He has alot to work on. I hope the best for you.

    Answer by MamaChamp at 1:41 AM on Nov. 15, 2009

  • When I say get used to it, I meant that if you are going to stay in the marriage, then you either need to get help or get used to it.

    Answer by KaceesMom at 1:42 AM on Nov. 15, 2009

  • I agree with MamaChamp. My XH did this to me and my 2 daughters and I did have to ask him to move out of the house. We spent a year seperated, and it was a long enough time for me to confirm I wanted a divorce. But, it's been 6 years, and I can say he's a better parent than he used to be. Turned out he got some help for himself and discovered he had depression issues, but, never accepted help when I suggested he get it when we were still married. He kicks himself for not trying harder when he was with me, but, it worked out for the best.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:22 AM on Nov. 15, 2009

  • If you are a single mom anyway, you might want to consider being a single mom for real and just receiving child support. This anger you harbor isn't good for you. Although, child support checks are usually much less than if he is giving his full check to the family. Maybe just move into separate bedrooms and let him go emotionally so you can move on with being a good parent.

    Answer by Bellarose0212 at 2:58 AM on Nov. 15, 2009

  • Frankly, I would disengage the video game. I'd fricken hack the thing to pieces or sell it on Craigslist. We have NO video games in our house. Because my ex husband was like this. Would literally play WoW for THREE or FOUR days straight stopping only to use the bathroom. No joke.

    We ended up divorced. I left Nebraska. Two years later I met my current husband. We've been married 7 years and when things are goofy (like he starts to take advantage) I just have to remind him.

    You need to explain to him that laundry doesn't magically get done, the girls don't magically get bathed and fed, the house is not magically cleaned and dinner is not magically made every day. I know you WISH you could sleep all day. LOL!

    If it were me, I would just stop hanging around the house. He doesn't seem to care either way.

    Answer by SterlingLegend at 10:44 AM on Nov. 15, 2009

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