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If my brother is a grandfather, my mother is a.....?

We have a situation where my brother married a woman with a 12 year old boy 15 years ago. He did not adopt the boy, as the boy was still involved with his bio father and they didn't feel it was right. My mother never said that boy was her grandson. So now, he is all grown up and has a daughter, who is almost a year old. My mother keeps calling her "that child" [whom we have never met because they live 1000 miles away]. I have convinced her to get "that child" an XMas present, because if my brother is a grandfather, she IS THE GREAT GRANDMA!!!!
Any comments?


Asked by Anonymous at 9:01 AM on Nov. 15, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • Even though the child is not related legally or by blood, it would still be a kind thing to treat the child as her relative. I have two step-grandchildren, and I treat them exactly as I do my biological grandchildren. I placed myself in their position and thought how nice it would be if that lady who hugged and loved and gave presents to her grandchildren would also do the same for them even though step-grandchildren. So I asked the children to call me grandma, just as my other grandchildren do. and they get presents and hugs just the same. She should also consider the influence she might have in the child's life, and that the child might welcome her as a friend. My mother is great-grandma to all of the children- biological or related as a result of marriage. Love them. It is a win-win situation.

    Answer by Bmat at 9:11 AM on Nov. 15, 2009

  • Would'nt she be an aunt? This is an odd one....good luck

    Answer by Theone3608 at 9:04 AM on Nov. 15, 2009

  • I agree. Adoptions of the heart don't need a legal reason to get a gift. If she had a relationship with this boy (who is all grown up now) then she automatically is bound by love, regardless if they have met or not. :)

    Answer by doodlebopfan at 9:05 AM on Nov. 15, 2009

  • Its a child, don't have to be related to it to love it.

    Answer by IraqiVetWife at 9:20 AM on Nov. 15, 2009

  • She'd be the step Grandmother since it's her step son's child unless it's the stepson's daughter's child and I misread.
    Either way, she's not bound to send a gift, but it would be a nice gesture if she does it for her own children and grandchildren.
    And the way she should address "that child" is, "X's daughter", my step son's daughter, my husband's granddaughter, or by name alone.

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 9:36 AM on Nov. 15, 2009