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when someone close to you has a fam member die...how do you show them your support?

Do you tell people "im sorry for your loss" or do you just show up for support and let them lean on you. I feel like i should'nt say "im sorry for your loss b/c i don't wanna make anyone anymore upset

Answer Question
 
shay1130

Asked by shay1130 at 9:16 AM on Nov. 15, 2009 in Just for Fun

Level 27 (32,809 Credits)
Answers (4)
  • It is hard and tough to know what to say in situations like that. So I just more say I'm here for you if you need to talk and if they take you up on that, just listen to them 'cause that's all anyone really wants anyways is a shoulder to cry on and someone to listen to them.
    ABPeterson

    Answer by ABPeterson at 9:19 AM on Nov. 15, 2009

  • "I am very sorry. " is what I read should be said. I try to attend services, to donate money or send flowers, to take food during the time that they have out of town company. I am a mess at funerals because I get emotional, and the family usually ends up comforting me, which makes me feel worse. After the immediate time of grief, I try to call the person and to suggest getting together for lunch or whatever.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 9:20 AM on Nov. 15, 2009

  • This is what our friends did for us when we were losing then lost FIL this summer. they took the kids when I had to get FIL to the doc and admitted to the hospital and any time the kids didn't want to visit. When he died they hugged us, came to the funeral, made donations, brought us food, brought us food, brought us food (I still have stuff in the freezer and it's been nearly 4 months) came to visit (we "sit" for a week where all we really do is take visitors and pray 2x daily, it really helps) and listened when we needed to talk.

    Hearing "I am so sorry" is not heartbreaking. It helps. It shows that you have a connection to our pain. What is harder is "how are you doing?" because even if it has been a hard day or week, you feel the need to cover and say "OK. It's hard, but we're managing." When you want to say "I feel like sh*t and my mil is seeing his ghost."
    balagan_imma

    Answer by balagan_imma at 9:47 AM on Nov. 15, 2009

  • I don't say anything, just show up and do something or bring something over.

    my FIL died and the last thing we wanted to hear was I'm so sorry.
    hypermamaz

    Answer by hypermamaz at 10:50 AM on Nov. 15, 2009

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