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15 old step-daughter in appropriate comment

My step daughter got mad at me yesterday because I would not allow her to go shopping with her friend and her friend's mother. We told her that since she was gone every weekend we wanted her to spend one weekend at home and her friend came over here. She got so mad at me that she texted her dad, my dd and told him that his wife was stupid fat bithch and the next text said she wanted to kill me. Im am not fat by far, and I can she where she thought I was being mean, but it was inappropirate and I took her phone away for a week. She said that was stupid and I had not right to do that. What do you think? Keep in mind her mother is deceased and we have her full time.

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Asked by Anonymous at 10:41 AM on Nov. 15, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (14)
  • You had every right to do what you did, disrespect is not to be tolerated and this is the message you are giving her, good for you!

    Answer by older at 10:45 AM on Nov. 15, 2009

  • Seems like you r more concerned about her calling u fat than threatening to kill u...

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:54 AM on Nov. 15, 2009

  • You were right in taking her phone away. She was very inappropriate.

    Answer by NightPhoenix at 10:56 AM on Nov. 15, 2009

  • Hmm what exactly did her father do or say to her? It seems to me both of you need to be on the same page cause she is taking it all out on you. He needs to back you up

    Answer by firethearson at 11:01 AM on Nov. 15, 2009

  • i have a 17yr old stepson who lives with us full time and he once told me to kiss his white ass, well how it ended he ended up punching his dad and giving him a blck eye.her dad was the one who needed to take her phone away. when it comes to grounding and stuff he should be the one to do that.and if she ask why thats when u can step in. tell her she is going to thank u one day for that

    Answer by angelairelan at 11:01 AM on Nov. 15, 2009

  • WOW your stepdaughter is a little bitch! Heck yeah take her phone and limit her outings, it seems like she under the impression that it is her RIGHT and not a PRIVILEGE to go out with friends. She needs to EARN rewards and not just expect them! Good for you!

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:11 AM on Nov. 15, 2009

  • its tough growing up, its tough having step parents. i know. i can only imagine how tough it is having a dead mother. give the girl a break.

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 11:13 AM on Nov. 15, 2009

  • It may be tough for this girl, but there is no reason to disrespect her step mom and there is no reason for her step mom to take it, PURPULbutterfly. Are you suggesting she do nothing? What would that accomplish?
    To the OP, make sure your DH sits down and has a convo with his DD and calmly lets her know why the phone was taken away and that he too is in agreement with you on the punishment. Then you can he can make a plan together on how you can resolve the issues with her, when she can have her phone back, when and if she can go out with friends, etc. Then let her know together, so she doesn't think it's just coming from you... it's BOTH of you, ya know? Good Luck~

    Answer by mom2BOYZnDad at 11:25 AM on Nov. 15, 2009

  • a 15 year old with a dead mom must be in awful pain. Please find a therapist for her, one who specializes in adolescent grief.

    Answer by rkoloms at 11:59 AM on Nov. 15, 2009

  • I think it was an appropiate consequence. Her actions were not appropiate. I'd also add she has to stay home for at least one more weekend and send her friend home.

    Or maybe DH should add the final two.

    Answer by MamiJaAyla at 2:25 PM on Nov. 15, 2009

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