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If the father is not paying child support, does he have to have visitation?

I have a friend going through this and this is the question she has. He hasn't paid any child support and their son is now 3. She has tried to go to court over this and he just doesn't show up. There are a lot more details but I don't want to disclose more about her life. I told her I would try to find out the answer to this question. Thanks for any and all help. She lives in Virginia if that matters...


Asked by jmetz4 at 11:26 AM on Nov. 15, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (13)
  • If he has never shown up for court and has not been granted visitation, I wouldn't let my child going with him either. I would tell her to consult her lawyer and tell them that he is calling and harassing about wanting to see the child, but she doesn't want the child to go anywhere with him because he has an uninsured car and a carseat that is unacceptable for the child. Then tell her to tell the ex to get that car insured and get a good carseat installed properly and then maybe she will get a new court date to decide visitation rights. It's all about safety.

    Answer by mom2BOYZnDad at 12:02 PM on Nov. 15, 2009

  • I would think it would depend on what the court has said about his support. Did they ever order him to pay anything at all? Did they ever grant him any sort of visitation? If no to both of these then I would say she wouldn't have to let him see the child(ren). Tell her to tell him to take her to court for visitation rights if he wants to see the child(ren) and then he'd have to pay support, ya know? More than likely if he doesn't want to pay support he won't do it.

    Answer by mom2BOYZnDad at 11:31 AM on Nov. 15, 2009

  • Thats what i thougt. She took it to court when they first split. He didnt show up for the custody date or the child support date. He just keeps calling at yelling at her that he has the right. She doesn't want him to physically take him anywhere (which is what he wants to do) because the car he uses (his girlfriends) is un-insured and the carseat he has is unsafe...

    Answer by jmetz4 at 11:40 AM on Nov. 15, 2009

  • I'm in MO and they are two separate issues here. Our boys bio-dad is behind and I don't keep him from seeing them. His finances have nothing to do with the fact that he loves them and wants to see them. The sad thing is he will mess it up himself if he loses his license when it reaches a certain amount. She may want to see an attorney just to make sure she has sole custody and can make all the decisions when it comes to when he see's the child.

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 11:51 AM on Nov. 15, 2009

  • Thank you so much! I am going to give her a call in a little bit. Her ex is trying to befriend me now. I really dont like him because he doesnt seem to care or listen. He only seems to want to see his son because he knows it bugs her. She wants his father in his life but she doesnt feel she can trust him. Thanks again!

    Answer by jmetz4 at 12:25 PM on Nov. 15, 2009

  • Visitation and support are two seperate issues. My sisters ex has never paid support and her ex gets their daughter every other weekend and Wed and Thurs the other weeks. She is angry he is not paying but would not hurt her daughter by not letting her visit. She has a good job and makes it on her own. She does not run her ex down and is the best mom I know. Her ex needs to pay up but he is laid off has been for three years and hasn't been able to find work. He lives with his parents and her daughter loves seeing her daddy and grandparents.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:32 PM on Nov. 15, 2009

  • They should have a warrant for him by now. Have her call and see if the warrant is ready to be served for not showing up in Court. If so, set up visitation then call the police and have him picked up. When he gets to court establish cs and visitation. If she refuses visitation there is not much he can do. He'd have to get an attorney to fight her on it so if it were me (and it wouldn't hurt the child by not seeing the dad) I'd refuse to let him see the child. No, it's not a nice thing to do but it might get his behind paying cs and being responsible.

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:42 PM on Nov. 15, 2009

  • and it wouldn't hurt the child by not seeing the dad

    You are really clueless aren't you? Kids need both parents. Single moms can say they don't all they want but when over 80 percent of our prison population are from single mom homes that tells us kids need both parents.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:55 PM on Nov. 15, 2009

  • Simple answer, if it is court ordered for dad to have visitation, she has to allow it no matter if he pays support or not. The two are separate issues. If he's not showing up to court, then he probably has a warrant out for his arrest.

    Answer by heatherann0221 at 1:28 PM on Nov. 15, 2009

  • child support does not affect visitation. if it did, my ex would not have the right to see his kids. they are two separate issues, and one does not affect the other. even if the dad is ordered to pay, and does not, he is still legally entitled to visitation. also, he is legally entitled to visitation, even if it is not ordered, but he can not legally enforce his right without an order. screwed up, isn't it?

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 1:43 PM on Nov. 15, 2009