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If You were the mother of a 21 year man who got shot during a road rage conflict, would you want to see your dead son's ex at his funeral? The ex girlfriend who broke his heart? The ex girlfriend who said she'd be back for him in a couple months, but was a lie, because he wouldn't let her leave other wise?

She and I got along great. Just trying to see if I should go to the funeral.

 
Destiny13

Asked by Destiny13 at 12:25 PM on Nov. 15, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (10)
  • i'd want anybody who loved my son to be there to mourn him. if you're really worried, call a brother or sister of his to test the waters. worse comes to worse, send flowers or a card to his mom.
    nemiller

    Answer by nemiller at 1:33 PM on Nov. 15, 2009

  • Worrying about his ex would be the least of my worries.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:29 PM on Nov. 15, 2009

  • I would. There is no reason really to not let her come. The past is the past and what happened between her and your son was between them. Sorry for your loss and hugs.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:30 PM on Nov. 15, 2009

  • The mom will be so distraught that she may not pay attention to her being there. She should go with others, blending in and not do anything to draw attention to herself if she goes. Then again there are other ways to pay her respects like making a donation to a charity in his name or saying a prayer for him at home. Funerals are not for the dead, it's for the living imo. If it could really cause a problem then she could talk to the funeral director and ask for a private moment before the mom gets there or after.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:38 PM on Nov. 15, 2009

  • I think it would be prudent to call a brother or sister of the deceased person. That way they can help you gauge the best. His best friend or favorite uncle/aunt would also know the mother well enough to guess at her feelings.
    Nathskitten

    Answer by Nathskitten at 12:50 PM on Nov. 15, 2009

  • This is your son's funeral? If it were my son's, I wouldn't even know who was there unless they came up to me to offer some kind of words.
    I have zero idea who was at my daughter's funeral other than a select few.
    Everyone deserves the chance to say goodbye, whether it's at the funeral home or at the funeral unless they're the ones that caused the death.
    What would your son want? If he loved her, and he must've if she broke his heart... then I bet he'd want her there so she could have some closure.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 1:52 PM on Nov. 15, 2009

  • A funeral is about showing respect to the dead. Just because she couldn't get back with him doesn't mean she didn't love him. Focus on yourself.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:21 PM on Nov. 15, 2009

  • I may not want to "see" her per say, but I do not think you should have to have an admission ticket to go to a funeral either. No matter how you may feel, she is obviously grieving and wanting to show her respects. I would not focus on her, but on my son.
    PLATINUM_BEAUTY

    Answer by PLATINUM_BEAUTY at 2:24 PM on Nov. 15, 2009

  • I am the ex.. not the mother. Thank you all for your help.
    Destiny13

    Answer by Destiny13 at 2:29 PM on Nov. 15, 2009

  • This is a time to forgive and forget and share grief. Welcome everyone and don't hold a grudge or worry about whether or not anything is appropriate.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:06 PM on Nov. 15, 2009

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