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Christmas greeting cards dilemma!!!!!!

I have a 7 m.o. daughter with my SO. I also have an 11 y.o. that is not his son. He (SO) wants to make greeting cards but only with the picture of my daughter because it's her first Christmas. I was very offended and continue to be because I feel he never includes my son with anything that has to do with family. Should I just say no, or how can we compromise as my family would like to see my son in the cards but I do understand that it's my baby's first Christmas and HIS SIDE of the family would prob just like to see only my daughter????

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Asked by Anonymous at 1:24 PM on Nov. 15, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (22)
  • That's just wrong. The 11 yr old is part of the family as well. This kind of stuff is why kids hate mom's bf/so. The child knows exactly what's going on and his self esteem will suffer for it. Not bashing but I just don't understand why women pick men who don't love and accept their child and the child gets hurt.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:29 PM on Nov. 15, 2009

  • Oh hell no! If my boyfriend didn't want my 8 year old in the pictures too, I would be pissed and there would be a HUGE fight. Don't compromise, if he and his family don't love your older child too, they need to do some soul searching, because that is just wrong.

    Answer by kitten_shuga at 1:31 PM on Nov. 15, 2009

  • Your SO needs to grow up.

    If he's a man, he'll realize that your son is part of his family and be proud of it.

    If he's a chump, he'll continue to push your son to the side.

    Either the whole family is in the picture, or not.

    'Nuff said.

    Answer by Wimsey at 1:35 PM on Nov. 15, 2009

  • I ASKED THE QUESTION>>>>>>>>>>>>
    Ok, so what if he tried to compromise and said we can do two sets of cards?????? It's his first BUT my second and it's just causing this HUGE fight......NO compromising whatsoever??

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:37 PM on Nov. 15, 2009

  • What I'd do if it was me is.... I'd do a family portrait of all 4 of you for the cards and I'd do single portraits of your daughter to give to his side of the family and a pic of your son and daughter together for your side as gifts.
    How would he feel if you wanted to do a family portrait without him? It's not right, not fair and shouldn't happen at all.
    When my second child was born, I sent out pics of the two of them for our Christmas cards (from same father). I'd never exclude one of my children and would never exclude another child either.
    I'd say we can send the photo's of her to your family inside the card, or we're not doing them at all. You could take the pics at home, of the children individually and print them out at walmart or some other photo place relatively cheap to save the fight.

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 1:42 PM on Nov. 15, 2009

  • put your foot down your son is either included or no cards!

    Answer by MorriganzMommy at 1:43 PM on Nov. 15, 2009

  • Dude - you have to stand up for your family, including your son.

    Imagine how horrible he must feel - knowing your SO doesn't feel him "worthy enough" to be in a Christmas card photo!

    The MOST I would be willing to bend is a COMPLETE family photo on the outside of the card, with an insert of just your daughter for his family. That would be IT.

    Does your SO want the fantasy that you were a virgin when he met you? Well, sorry, buddy. Life doesn't work that way. He needs to put his ego aside and be a man.

    And you need to stand your ground - for yourself, your son, and your daughter.

    Answer by Wimsey at 1:46 PM on Nov. 15, 2009

  • Does he not realize what an asshole he's being? How would you feel if you were your son and your mom and her SO blocked you out of the Christmas card?

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:47 PM on Nov. 15, 2009

  • You can put multiple pics on a card. Put them together, her alone wih something symbolizing her first Christmas and your son alone. Remind him what Christmas is

    Answer by ShayleesMom456 at 1:51 PM on Nov. 15, 2009

  • So his family won't accept your son? Are they the problem or is it your SO, or both?

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:52 PM on Nov. 15, 2009

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