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Sex drive

I have none!! And DH has enough for the two of us x10!!! Anyone else experience this? I try I really do but sometimes I'm just exhausted ...I'm home ALL day EVERY day and by the time DH gets home at night the last thing on my mind is sex. And if god forbid I choose to do something other than that (watch TV, computer, etc) he acts like a big baby. When he doesn't get what he wants he acts like a little boy and is cranky and not so nice. I feel like I take care of DS all day and then DH at night, when is my time? I have none. DH is a great Daddy and Husband except for this issue we have. And he thinks it's all me. Can't understand why I don't want to jump his bones. So if we do have sex then the problem becomes I didn't initiate, or I didn't give him a BJ. Like even when I try it's never enough..
And yes I have had my "hormones" tested and that's not it. I think it is just exhaustion, stress and Hubby's lack of understanding.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 2:17 PM on Nov. 15, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (8)

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:27 PM on Nov. 15, 2009

  • A new study came out that concluded that consumption of foods stored in plastic can decrease libido.

    Answer by rkoloms at 2:33 PM on Nov. 15, 2009

  • It's really hard to get turned on by someone who constantly complains and then criticizes you when you try to resolve their complaints. I'd sit down with him and just flat out tell him that the way he treats you makes you not want to have sex. Remind him that women need a little tenderness, a little love, someone to say "baby, you're beautiful and I want to make love to you all night long", not "geez, I really wish you would've blown me first".

    If that doesn't work, or you just want to be mean, don't have sex with him at all, and when he complains, just tell him you figured since he thinks you're so bad at it, you'd just stop doing it. That might change his mind. :) Not serious, here.

    Answer by tropicalmama at 2:46 PM on Nov. 15, 2009

  • Really ? Wow I have the libido of a damn rabbit and so does my husband ! Im a stay at home mom too and I do everything around the house inside and out and it doesnt matter how tired I am I still want to jump his bones, and I know that makes him happy and makes him feel like a man. Havent you ever seen the study that proves when semen is absorbed by womans body it actually acts like a " happy pill " and no im not taking about orally.

    Answer by ryansmommy07 at 3:18 PM on Nov. 15, 2009

  • I have had the same trouble for 25 years! All that helps is when my husband has some other "hobby." Get him some damn video games.

    Another thought, tell him that you get really turned on when he does the dishes or runs the vacuum.

    Sorry, I wish I had some real answers for you. Good luck. And yes, I do think think part of it is exhaustion. I once fell asleep during sex. Boy was DH pissed.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:28 PM on Nov. 15, 2009

  • I would say that your emotional needs are not being met. Therefore, you are not interested in sex. That's the way it works for women. Men can have sex anytime and not even be very much if at all emotionally involved. We ladies need to be cuddled and made to feel like we are more important than just a piece of furniture. There is a very good book entitled FOR BETTER OR FOR BEST by Gary Smalley that has some very good information on how to get your husband to meet your emotional needs. There is a companion to that one called IF ONLY HE KNEW that is good, too. The physical part of marriage is great in the beginning, but without emotional involvement with your husband, it will soon lose its luster. Being tired is not the problem, but it does become a good excuse. Good sex for a woman begins in her mind. When her thinking is negative toward her husband, she is not going to be much interested in meeting his needs.

    Answer by NannyB. at 3:49 PM on Nov. 15, 2009

  • tropicalmam....good advice totally agree!! The problem I have is he listens and hears me but then nothing changes. He is convinced no matter what I should just want to jump his bones for the simple fact I'm his wife and he's my husband. As we know it doesn't always work like that. I try and tell him but he doesn't seem to get it. Ryansmommy07...i wish I was like and so does hubby!!! God Bless you guys! Anon...thank goodness he doesn't play video games I would kill!! but, I agree focus on something else to keep him "busy". Hubby is from the islands were sex is on the brain all day every I will try though. The good thing is he helps tremendously around the house and then wonders why that didn't work. That's what he hears... when you help out around the house your woman has more time/energy for sex. Which I agree with but it goes further than that. "Good sex for a woman begins in her mind"

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:57 PM on Nov. 15, 2009

  • con't ...I couldn't agree more. I will look into those books. Thanks for the advice. Very much needed and appreciated!!! hit it right on the head. But to go with what I was saying earlier to tropicalmama is he hears me but then nothing changes. How do I get him to put those thoughts into action? Any tips?

    rkoloms..for various reasons we put everything in glass, so we don't have much in plastic here. Even if I buy it like that at the store I switch it right away. And I don't eat or use any personal products with "hormone disrupters". Is that what you mean?

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:00 PM on Nov. 15, 2009

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