Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Ok 3 almost 4 problem

She gets so upset that she shakes uncontrolably and screams so loud. I dont know what to do when she gets this mad. She has even started doing it at daycare, which scares me because I really like my daycare. We put her in her room when she does this but she opens and slams the door, you's think she was 15. HELP!!!!!!anyone

Answer Question

Asked by auroranoardava at 3:09 PM on Nov. 15, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • Ignore it. Eventually she will get tired of it. When she is calm, remind her to use nice words to tell you when she has some problem to discuss.

    Honest...just ignore it. Act like you've seen plenty of tantrums in your life and you are not impressed.

    Also, a good way to get her to stop it to start some interesting activity that will get her attention. If she's pitching a fit and you decide that it is a good time for YOU to do a baking or art project, she will get tired of pitching a fit and come see if she can join you and be your helper.

    Good luck.

    Answer by Julie411me at 3:13 PM on Nov. 15, 2009

  • lol, my son started to do it, so i started to do it to, i can throw myself on the ground just as fast as he can, and about 2 min later, everyone is happy again :) try it, it'll surprise her.......

    Answer by USNDABABIES at 9:27 PM on Nov. 15, 2009

  • Hmm. I'll answer this question assuming that your daughter is having these tantrums for the same reason all kids do - 1) because they don't yet have total control over their emotions, 2) they have a low tolerance for frustration, and 3) they have learned that some of the time, this gets them what they want. Having said that, if this is a NEW behavior and you feel there's more to it, talk to your pediatrician asap.
    Now, on to my answer: Kids usually repeat behaviors that work for them, even if it's only 1 out of 100 times. My guess is that there are times, even if ever-so-rare, that you have "given in" to this behavior. Another reason kids tantrum like this is because of the emotional reaction they get from us. The best way to handle this behavior is to do so *calmly*. She needs for you, the adult, to HELP her control her emotions and learn better ways to get her needs met. There are many approaches you can take:

    Answer by Evansmomintexas at 12:05 AM on Nov. 16, 2009

  • (continued) 1) You can tell her tath she can yell and scream all she wants in her room with her door closed. Don't do it in punitive way, just very matter-of-factly. Try telling her that all that yelling makes your ears hurt and that you'd like to talk to her, but can see how mad she is. Once she gets her "mads" out, she can approach you. If she won't go in her room, try walking away for a few minutes. 2) Tell her that you want to hear what she is upset about, but that you can't understand her; ask her to use her "big girl words" and tell you. 3) If she truly can't calm herself down, you may have to help her do this. Talk calmly. tell her you know she's mad & that she really (wanted that toy, doesn't want to take a bath, etc).

    I find that approaching kids respectfully and calmly while setting boundaries, tends to work, but you have to be consistent with it & model the same when you are mad. Hope this helps~ :-)

    Answer by Evansmomintexas at 12:13 AM on Nov. 16, 2009

  • Ignore it. You give her any kind of reaction, good or bad, she'll repeat it.

    Answer by Rachell9503 at 12:28 AM on Nov. 16, 2009

  • My son used to have have tantrums over everything, even things that a normal child would find fun. He would scream bloody murder, tense up so bad veins would pop out of his neck. This is not a normal reaction for a child. These soon turned into all out meltdowns.

    we discovered that he has food sensitivities. We removed the foods and now have a normal 9 year old boy.

    If you feel that her tantrums are beyond normal, ask your dr for a food panel rast test for IgG & IgE. Allergies are a learned response. It may take years to show an outward allergic reaction. She may be sensitive to foods that are causing behavioral problems.

    Answer by motherofhope98 at 8:10 AM on Nov. 16, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.