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bullies

What do you do when the neighbor kids bully your kid? Nothing extreme but more than I am comfortable with. I want to keep my son safe, but also want to keep decent relationships with the parents since I have to live and interact with them almost daily.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:38 PM on Nov. 15, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (5)
  • i swear i'm gonna keep this copied somewhere.
    very few agree with my way of handling bullies. but it works.
    the kid has to fight back. girl or boy, school or neighbors, the kid has to fight back.
    do whatever you have to, to get some self esteem in your child to the point he will fight back. if the child never fights back the bully will hone in on them all the time, and not just that bully, but bullies in highschool, in college, at work, in families, everywhere.
    you have to fight back immediately and severely. jmho.
    my son had a girl whipping his @ss daily until i put him in horsemanship classes, and one day he just fought back and beat the living crap out of her. she quit bullying him, but not others.
    DS got bullied in kindergarten once on the schoolbus, and he just punched the kid once in the center of the face and then in the gut. He quit bullying my boy, but not others.
    They have to fight back.
    jewjewbee

    Answer by jewjewbee at 4:47 PM on Nov. 15, 2009

  • maybe you're not to the point of fighting, but your kid has to stand up for himself immediately and not let this go.
    stand in their face and tell the kid he's not taking it, or letting him do whatever, talk back strongly and aggressively, take back toys immediately without parent intervention. whatever it is the bully is doing, your kid has to stop it right away and let the bully know there will be consequences each and every time he tries to bully that child.
    jewjewbee

    Answer by jewjewbee at 4:50 PM on Nov. 15, 2009

  • If it is verbal, teach your son techniques to take the "power" away from the bullying (i.e. if the kid says something mean....just have him say  "I hope you feel better now?".  


    If it is physical, just keep him away from the kid unless you can supervise. 


    Read books to your son about bullying to provide him with techniques on dealing with it and so he doesn't feel alone and recognizes he doesn't want this kid for a friend, because friends don't treat each other this way.   http://astore.amazon.com/wwwcjkidzcom3-20?%5Fencoding=UTF8&node=8

    momjs

    Answer by momjs at 4:50 PM on Nov. 15, 2009

  • Been there, done that. This is what i did when the neighbor girl and my son played, and she was being bossy and bullying. I told my son he could play with her, at our house only. When she was over and played and she did something, i corrected the play. For example, if she was throwing his toys away from him, i would say "we don't throw our toys here, if you two throw them, then you have to put them away". Then my son would tell her to stop,and usually she would. it was like givng my son the suuport he needed to speak up. If she didn't then i would say, "i think it's time for sam to come inside now". Once inside i talked to my son about how if someone isn't playing with him nicely, he has the right and choice to leave a play situation. This gave him the tools to deal with kids when i wasn't around.

    Good luck, never a fun situation to be in.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:13 PM on Nov. 15, 2009

  • Explain to your child that a bully can only have the power given to them. If your child takes away that power by not being afraid. Like the poster mentioned above saying things like ' do you feel better now' or standing up to them and saying 'don't you bully me' The bully thrives on the child being afraid. If they can at least pretend to not be afraid and stand up it would really help.
    CyberBri

    Answer by CyberBri at 11:34 AM on Nov. 19, 2009

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