Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Y is it the womans responsibility?

Why is everything the wifes responsibility? Just curious. My dh and I both work fulltime, but for some reason I am the only one who cleans. And when were both off work he will just leave and do whatever running he has to do, but I have to take the baby with me. Or he can go to bed whenever, but for some reason it is me who has to make sure the sippys and the baby dishes are clean before hand. Im not complaining. I love my son and would do anything for him, but just curious if anyone elses realtionship is like this? and y is this how it is?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 5:00 PM on Nov. 15, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

Answers (39)
  • Mine is and it's that way because I feel it's my duty as a wife and mother to care for the house and the kids.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:04 PM on Nov. 15, 2009

  • yup. we ladies either need to speak up or get used to it. gender roles are just programmed into us, so we do all the traditional "womanly" chores while men are expected to be the breadwinners. but times have changed, but gender roles haven't changed much. if you want your hubby to do more, tell him.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:07 PM on Nov. 15, 2009

  • It's the leftovers idea from the 1950's Women and men still follow those gender rules. My hubby and I had a talk about house hold chores when w got married. We split them when he is at home. He does the cooking and I clean up. He does the floors and bathrooms, I do the kitchen, clutter. I manage the finances, and children, he earns the pay check. He does the dog poo, nails, and washing, I do the vet and medications. I do the laundry he does the cars (including gas, so nice) Of course when he is deployed like now, I get it all and then some. We joke that he owes me until he dies.

    washing dishes


    Answer by DevilInPigtails at 5:10 PM on Nov. 15, 2009

  • It shouldn't be that way, it should be a shared responsibility, you guys need to work out a plan where you both do things together to help each other out. GL

    Answer by MommaRox4683 at 5:15 PM on Nov. 15, 2009

  • Not in my house! That doesn't go here at ALL. We both work, we both made this baby, we both CLEAN!

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:17 PM on Nov. 15, 2009

  • No that is the opposite from our relationship. My response to you..look to his Mom. Mothers who do not teach their sons about household chores other than picking up their room and taking out the trash are preparing them to be poor husbands. Mothers that don't make sure their sons know how to cook and do their own wash are raising soon to be men who will depend on some woman to take care of him like Mommy. It's time for a "Man Up" talk with your other half. Make a cleaning chart and make him pick three. Then you refuse to do them. My husband needed an attitude adjustment at first. I finally told Mr. "let my clothes fall where they may" I would wash what wasin the hamper. He got mad the day he had no socks after I had just done wash. Socks everywhere but the hamper. He didn't need a second lesson. I was adamant my boys would know how to take care of themselves and that chores in the house are everyones responsibility.

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 5:34 PM on Nov. 15, 2009

  • Not in my house either. I have my time and hubby has his time. We share the house and the kids etc. Was it always like that NO, he thought I was his maid, mother, sex slave, cook, etc until I showed him that I was not any of those. It didn't take long LOL... He will continue this until you step up and tell him this is OUR responsibility and yes you will be helping out. I go shopping, the movies etc while he has the kids and I do the same for him so he can go hunting or fishing etc. We need that time just like they do. GL

    Answer by midnightmoma at 5:43 PM on Nov. 15, 2009

  • When ever I bring it up it turns into a fight. He will only help out when I ask, and I feel I shouldnt have to ask, because he is not a child. And when I lecture him to help he says I treat him like a child. And I work fulltime as well so there is no reason why I should have to come home and pick up after him, my son, and the nasty cat.

    Answer by ashtonjames at 5:59 PM on Nov. 15, 2009

  • You think he's not a child but then you lecture him. You ARE treating him like a child. He's your partner, the two of you should be able to have a discussion like a mature couple.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:08 PM on Nov. 15, 2009

  • I feel the same way im not going to post anon, i am going to voice my opinion i have no objection for a man to help with house hold chores, or the children,
    i am doing bascially everything and i told him it is like BEING single why not be, after i told him that little tittle, he started bustin his butt in gear, helping me slowly but hey ITS HELPS!

    Answer by LexsiesMommy at 6:17 PM on Nov. 15, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.