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I don't know what to do with him?

My little brother has always had behavior problems. I mean, WAY back to toddler size. It is a week until his 5th birthday & i just don't know what to do with him. He rarely ever does what he is told, but is more likely to do the exact opposite. He's constantly breaking things & doing things he knows he shouldn't do. Just when it seems like he is really trying hard & his behavior is turning for the better, i'll find something that he did or he'll do something to prove me wrong. I don't know if my DH will be able to tolerate much of his behavior & i just want us all to be happy. (DH is currently stationed in Germany). I love my little brother so much. But he's making everything so much harder for our family.
He's in behavior therapy. And it's helped as far as him taking commands. But the breaking stuff, the lying, the intentional rule breaking. He's gotten spankings, grounded. Even a positive reinforcement chart. To no avail.


Asked by outstandingLove at 5:46 PM on Nov. 15, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 20 (9,136 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (3)
  • Have you had him tested for Asperger's Syndrome? My son was like that from birth, practically, and they tried every label, treatment, and medication on him. He wasn't diagnosed until he was 15 and with the proper treatment it has made a world of difference. Couldn't hurt to look into it and rule it out.

    Answer by Monica1119 at 6:12 PM on Nov. 16, 2009

  • Just curious, because i believe I have seen your posts before, didn't your mother pass away recently?? Maybe this has alot to do with his behavior issues. i am wondering as well, how long are you sticking with each consequence for his actions? I also completely disagree with spankings...if the child is already having a hard time, that is just going to contribute to it, IMO. I would continue with positive reinforcment as much as possible and talk with his therapist on other ways to deal with his behavior. As for your husband, what do you mean you don't know if he will be able to deal with it? This child is not even five years old! What happens if your dh decides he can't take it anymore? Your two should be in this together.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:08 PM on Nov. 15, 2009

  • yes my mom passed away. His behavior has NOTHING to do with that. as i said he has ALWAYS had behavior issues. the things i am dealing with are not new problems, just things i've never had to deal with before because before he wasn't my kid!
    Spankings only take place for more severe bad behavior. time outs for every day bad behavior groundings for repeated bad behavior. removed privileges for when the other disciplines don't seem to fit the crime.
    I used to major in early childhood education. I've worked in preschools and child care settings. Trust me. I know about being consistent.
    My husband is in the military and has a very short temper. I would rather my brother and my husband have a good father-son relationship. That's what i mean. I guarantee that my husband supports me 100% with taking on my strong willed brother.

    Answer by outstandingLove at 11:13 PM on Nov. 15, 2009