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Do I need help or out of my marriage?

I've been married to my Husband for about 3 years now. He is in the military, we met when I was 17 and he was 21. We have a 3 year old daughter and here I am wondering what I got myself into. I love my him but I dont know if I am IN love with him. I've cheated a few times, nothing lasting too long, never had a boyfriend or anything like that on the side. I want to be with him because I feel secure but I dont want to because our relationship isnt as exciting as it was when we were dating. I havent met anyone nor am I cheating ATM. I just want advice. No bashing please I'm sure everyone gets enough of that.

I'm also not addicted to sex, I dont think though I enjoy a good rumble with a man I am attracted to doesnt qualify me I dont think.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 2:07 AM on Nov. 16, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (4)
  • You need some counseling. Marriage isn't gonna be the same as dating. It gets routine, it evens get hard sometimes. I'm sure having a military spouse you get lonely, but you made a committment to your husband. He needs to be able to trust that you are his partner in the good, the bad and the boring.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:16 AM on Nov. 16, 2009

  • I am also a military spouse. And have been in that position only cheating on my husband once. We have worked through our problems and have found new things to keep our relationship strong. I think you need to be honest with him and tell him that you need his help on working this out and that you need to find something you guys can do together you wont get bored with and can keep the relationship strong. As a military spouse... and a military child (my parents are both military) i know these relationships are hard... I'm only 20 and i've know my husband for 5 years and we have been together for 3 and married 1... so I hope that maybe my advice helps you somewhat.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:03 AM on Nov. 16, 2009

  • if you have to cheat to feel special then let him go before you hurt him anymore than what you already have. there comes a point in most relationships where you have to walk away and work on yourself before you will ever be someone else's better half. and when you feel secure by yourself you will know the true meaning of security. (i was 12 when i met my husband and when that didn't work out i ran to another man before having time to myself, when that didn't work out i took plenty of time to be alone and worry just about me and my son)

    Answer by angevil53 at 8:45 AM on Nov. 16, 2009

  • I know how you feel..dh and I have been together for almost 9 years,and it is hard.Its not the same when we were dating.He is dealing with other men making passes at me and as much as I try to tell him I will not stray he doesnt have that belief in me I guess.Things are just strained between us,but we are working on it.Marriage is work.

    Answer by Nattiesmom9603 at 8:47 AM on Nov. 16, 2009

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