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I really need help before I make a big mistake!!!

I have been with my husband for 7 years (married only 7 months). We have a 2 year old beautiful girl. He recently told me that he cheated on me with 3 different women for over a period of 3 years. We have just been really struggling lately. I don't know what to do. We have already been through a lot with each other but I don't know if we can make it through this. I feel like I am not getting enough attention from him and it's other things too. I keep having thoughts about cheating on him or at least talking and flirting with other guys. But that's not really who I am. I just don't know what to do! I don't want to make a big mistake. Please no bashing but advice would be nice. Thanks.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:30 AM on Nov. 16, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • If you are going to cheat, than leave. It is just not worth the relationship. If you want to be with someone else then do that. If nothing else you don't need the guilt of doing it.
    Amelora

    Answer by Amelora at 2:49 AM on Nov. 16, 2009

  • my ex cheated on the entire time we were together and even when i was pregnant. i was never married to him thank god but i truly believe that 99.9% of men can not cheat and then never do it again. especially after being together 7 years? thats ridiculous, after 7 years you should have enough love and respect for someone to not do that stuff or AT LEAST if your gonna do it then dont hide and cover it up for 3 years! not only is that emotionally devestating but its just gross. i honestly never got over my ex cheating, i still have problems with trusing men, even though i am engaged now. it really emotionally scarred me. as far as getting revenge, dont do it. i am ashamed to admit that i got pushed into being someone im not and i became so hurt and angry that i decided to sleep with someone for revenge. it doesnt make you feel better at all. TRUST ME.
    maranda1389

    Answer by maranda1389 at 2:53 AM on Nov. 16, 2009

  • I have had a similar situation. i found out my husband was in a relationship for 3 weeks before we got married and was still keeping it going the week we got married and after i had my daughter. I ended up cheating on him and he found out and it was a huge mess. We have been making things work and we have a better understanding for each other and we are closer now than before. We have been together for 5 years and married 1. I would suggest in yoru situation counseling or maybe breaking it off if the feelings you have are overwhelming. you aslo have your child to think of. best wishes and i hope it works out.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:59 AM on Nov. 16, 2009

  • I know what you are going through. I recently caught my husband cheating. I have vowed to try and make the marriage work with him but right now I am not sure that it will. It is a struggle everyday and I just can't get what he did out of my head. I hope you do what is best for you and your child but i would not suggest cheating. If it gets to the point where the desire to cheat gets strong enough that you might act on it, leave. Your marriage is not working if you get to that point. I wish that my husband had considered my feelings and the feelings of our children before stepping out but the cold hard truth, is that he did not. I have to deal with that and as hard as I am trying, I can not promise that I can.Good luck momma. Lots of hugs. I hope you work out what is best for you and your child.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:21 AM on Nov. 16, 2009

  • I would just leave honey. Give it some time, & find yourself a wonderful man that respects you & would never do that. That would really hit your soon to be ex husband in the gut. When you find someone better than him, is when you will really hit him where it hurts....& it wont be intentional.

    It didn't feel good when you found out he cheated, well it's not going to feel good to him when you throw all his crap on the lawn & go to the courthouse & get those papers. That's the best "revenge" you could work on right now.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 9:07 AM on Nov. 16, 2009

  • It sounds like he cheated before you got married. Maybe he is taking his vows seriously and behaving now. Many men think before marriage it doesn't count as cheating.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:36 AM on Nov. 16, 2009

  • Must be the month? My husband of 15 yrs. is 'walking a thin line"..BUT...don't be offended if I ask your ages, I'm a bit older and didn't get marred till i was older, cause I wasn't ready to settle down. (never thought I would). Are you asking if you should cheat yourself? Only you can answer that question.But remember.Fantasy is usualy better than reality. And be sure you can live with yourself afterward.
    I would go to marrige counsleing. My husband and I did a few years ago...it really made a difference. We were on the verge of divorce. He was dead set against it a first, but found that he looked forward to it. Find a THEIRAPIST. Not just a counseler. He gave us the tools to fix our marriage. Also has to be someone you can be completly honest with.
    BUT...you have to decide, DO YOU LOVE HIM? can you TRUST HIM? can you FORGIVE HIM? And are you willing to go on in this marraige?
    I feel so bad for you. Good luck.honey
    koba
    koba

    Answer by koba at 9:42 AM on Nov. 16, 2009

  • Marriage counseling. NOW.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 12:06 PM on Nov. 16, 2009

  • if he already cheated on you, and more than once that is him saying he is not as in love with you as you believe. that is probably where a lot of the problems are coming from. and if you feel like cheating han he is not the man you married. its not worth it. dont degrade your self because of him. be you and if he doesnt encourage you and help your love, leave him. find someone who will give you all those things you want and need. good luck
    krisew90

    Answer by krisew90 at 8:39 PM on Nov. 16, 2009

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