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My teen son (almost 15) is chatting with some girls online. One I know lives in our area and is another teen. con't.

The other one lives out of town and is chatting with him about her boyfriend. She is telling him what her boyfriend does to her and that he doesn't do enough and she wants more.
HOW do I deal with this? I do not want him to become a victim of some girl playing with him or become addicted to this type of online chatter. I also want him concentrating on his schooling (he does online school). What should I say? I am really at a loss here. He is a great kid, just VERY innocent. He is also VERY smart. HELP.

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Asked by Anonymous at 4:33 AM on Nov. 16, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (6)
  • Although a mom wants to believe her child is innocent often they are not. He is talking to this girl on his on will, you should limit his amount of chat time on the computer. If the computer is in his room, put it in the living room where he can be seen when he is online. Having a son the same age, I am aware of what boys do at this age. His hormones are raging and he is curious and from the sounds of it the girl he is talking to has more to say then he needs to hear.

    Answer by ronjwake at 5:09 AM on Nov. 16, 2009

  • Hmmm maybe innocent is the wrong word. VERY inexperienced. He has led a very sheltered life. I read all his email and his chats. I just had not seen this one. I wonder now how often he is clearing his chats before I see them. Time for a chat of my own I think.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:19 AM on Nov. 16, 2009

  • I agree that you need to have a talk with him. Because, frankly, just because she says she's a teenage girl, even if she has a webpage, has given him pics, whatever, doesn't mean she really is.

    We have a very strict rule with our kids - they are NOT allowed to chat or add as friends or anything like that ANY person they don't know in person - and NO - going to meet them does NOT work. If they want to add them and they haven't met them in person, then they have to clear it with us first.

    I also think that maybe it's time to say that all chatting and such has to go on in a common area of the house where you can see what's being said if you so choose. Sort of like would you let him take a girl you don't know into his bedroom and shut the door? This, in many ways, is the same thing. It needs to be done in the common areas of your home, if it's at all.


    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 5:32 AM on Nov. 16, 2009

  • I second what sailorwifenmom said. Best of luck to you!

    Answer by nicolemstacy at 7:25 AM on Nov. 16, 2009

  • I have often talked to my kids about the dangers of sexy talk and pictures on line - and my #2 rules is that if they recieve a mail, etc. that has sexy pictures, talk, inappropriate information about someone, threats, etc. there will be no punishment if they come to me. I can't control what other kids do, but I can certainly (try to!) stop my kids from being a part of it, passing it on, etc. They know there are serious consequences from us, and from the police, if they were ever to pass on such stuff.

    Of course, #1 is that they must not do it and we long talked about the consequences, etc. of what happens a few hours, days, or weeks after they would send something, how it will inevitably be used to hurt them no matter how intimate and private it might have seemed at the time.

    Look on youtube or msnbc for the video of the story of Jessica Logan who committed suicide months after her bf passed on pics of her.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:31 AM on Nov. 16, 2009

  • He is 14 and you are the MOTHER.... turn off the computer.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:04 PM on Nov. 16, 2009

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