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Would it up set you to find out your husband was talking with a woman from his old job??? About your kids and ?? Her and I are not friends, we've met once or twice.

While looking at my husbands pictures on his phone I happened to look in his text messages. Must of been God telling me to, cause I haven't before. Last week we had some important issues with our children, a boy and girl ages 12 and 13 years. We lost our oldest son to suicide 4 yrs ago, and realize now some things we need to do differently in raising our other two. Some things happpend over the weekend, then the school called my husband about our daughter on Monday. He came home early from work so we could talk about a plan of action before the kids got home. We don' t always see eye to eye when it comes to disapline, but this was importent, and I was proud we were standing togather and talking about it.
LITTLE did I know, my husband text a woman he used to work with to ask her advice...FIRST. That ticked me off. But from the "flow" of the messages, it appears they talk quite often. He didn't get why I am so angry. Just me?

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Asked by Anonymous at 9:25 AM on Nov. 16, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • i get that ur angry that he didn't come to YOU first they are YOUR kids together not his and hers, i can see him maybe talking later about it with a friend man or woman as we talked and im still not sure what to do or make of it, but he def should have come to u first

    Answer by alicianana4life at 9:30 AM on Nov. 16, 2009

  • I understand you're upset, and there is a lot going on with your kids but I can't get past the invasio of privacy. Phones, wallets, purses are all private personal possessions. The bottom line he asked someone else for advice. So what. You yourself said you don't agree on discipline. You have much bigger issues to concern yourself with than a non sexual conversation your husband had.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:36 AM on Nov. 16, 2009

  • He was just accessing another opinion. If he lost a child before then he may have been scared to not include an outside objective opinion.

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:41 AM on Nov. 16, 2009

  • You have much bigger issues in your life than your husband discussing this with a friend. You need to focus your energy on your children and not on that. My husband has a former female coworker he still chats with. She is nice but I really don't know her. She has given him advice and he has given her advice. They are not having an affair. Maybe he knew she had been where you guys are now and knew she had some tips. At this point you know as parents what you are doing is not working and he probably thought getting some outside imput might help.

    At some point you need to grow up and realize you need help and that not every woman is out to get your

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:35 AM on Nov. 16, 2009

  • I can see where you would be upset that he talked to her first about the issue with your child. I don't think God was telling you to snoop thru his phone though. I do think you need to sit down with him and talk this out. Tell him why you are so upset, and you should apoligize for snooping on his phone. If your husband has never given you a reason to distrust him, then I would let this go and concentrate on the important things -- like how to handle your kids.
    You may want to consider marriage counseling.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:52 AM on Nov. 16, 2009

  • I would be a little jealous about that too, but it sounds like they are just friends. Actually, I don't know if I would be husband only works with girls and I think it's great. They are all really nice and they all just sit and gossip about everything and include my husband...I think it's cute. I don't see why you're that upset. Give your husband a break. He cared enough to ask someone else's advice since you don't see eye to eye in discipline. I don't see anything wrong with that. I'm sorry, but it sounds like you are playing the jealous wife and your husband probably feels guilty about something he shouldn't have to.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:53 AM on Nov. 16, 2009

  • Wouldn't bother me one bit. Indeed, I *know* he does it. But I also know the woman in question has her head on straight.

    Answer by gdiamante at 12:05 PM on Nov. 16, 2009

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