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Is he done with our marriage????

I am so overwhelmed. My husband abd I have been married for 5 years we have a beautiful 16 month old little girl. He has just told me he does not want anymore children. He used to beg to have 2. But the real reason I am upset is... He just seems to be pulling away from me. I love him with all that I am. He says I nag and B*** too much. I do not clean the house enough ect ect ect. I work a full time job and try to do the things he wants as well as spend time with my little girl. I don't know what I am going to do I need some advise!


Asked by Anonymous at 10:58 AM on Nov. 16, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • Try taking care of the things that seem to bother him the most first. Then if you have any time and/or energy left, do the other things. A lot of the things that we feel must be done could wait a few days if they have to. If you don't already, get a crock-pot and make meals in them. You can get one ready at night, pop it out of the fridge and into the cooker in the morning, and have supper ready when you get home. Also, find ways of showing your husband how much you love him. Telling him may not be good enough. Whatever acts say I love you to him, do those. It may not be the case with you, but very often when baby comes, mama gets so busy with her, that she forgets to nurture daddy, too. It doesn't take a whole lot, just be sure it's something meaningful to him. And if you are nagging him about helping more, implement your new plan for efficiency and don't mention needing his help for a bit.

    Answer by NannyB. at 11:43 AM on Nov. 16, 2009

  • dont worry im having the same problem.
    only we have only been married for 2 yrs. and we have 2 kids and one on the way. i am about to loss my job. we are living pay check to pay check as it is. i thnk its just stress is all. try to just let it go in one ear and out the other. i do anywyas. and 9 times out of 10 he will appologize by the end of the day for the way he acted. give it time. with things the way they are now, everyones stressed.

    Answer by sandraberke at 11:01 AM on Nov. 16, 2009

  • He is not happy with his job and we are really tight on money (we never have any) I just wish I know of something that would make him see how much he means to me! My daughter and him are the only reason I don't just hide under a rock (so to speak)

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:05 AM on Nov. 16, 2009

  • Whatever you do, do not have another child right now. If you are working you can provide for you and your child even without him. Do not take any verbal abuse. Is he pulling his weight at home? Or does he expects you to do everything?

    Think about this, sometimes it is better to come from a broken home than to live in one. Sit him down and explain him that as much as you love him, he can not talk to you that way because you have a child who is learning and thinking that is the way men suppose to treat women. Watch out for those role models. A guy isn't worth over your child self- concept, self-worth and self-esteem. Teach that jack ass how to treat you or give him the boot. If you nag a lot probably you have a good reason to. And if you bitch too much, does that make you a bitch on his eyes?

    Teach him what he can do to reduce your frustration so you don't have to nag him so much.

    Answer by bebita at 11:08 AM on Nov. 16, 2009

  • Maybe he's depressed. Things change so much after having a baby and maybe he's still having a hard time adjusting to the new lifestyle changes. I know my DH and I are just finding our groove and our DD is 2. So, it takes a while. Also, I nag more now that we have our DD b/c there's more to lose. Things seem much more urgent b/c I just want the best for our DD. I find it hard to be as laid back as I used to be b/c there's more at stake w/ the responsibility of providing the best life for our DD. On the other hand, if things aren't as clean and neat as they once were, its b/c you have a child now and things are going to be messier. Your DH may need to realize that its impossible to have a perfectly spotless home when you are working and have a child.

    Answer by kenzie07 at 11:11 AM on Nov. 16, 2009

  • Sorry I didn't answer the question ;-) My advice would be for you and hubby to talk w/ a counselor. If there's a chance to get to the bottom of why he's acting that way and save your marriage, why not take it.

    Answer by kenzie07 at 11:14 AM on Nov. 16, 2009

  • I almost feel like I am failing her if he does leave or vise versa. I never want her to feel like mommy and daddy just could not do it! He came from a broken home (his mom married 5 times his dad married 3 times) I want her to know the stability of mom and dad together in one house. I just wish I could figure out how to get all the house work done and still have time for her and him. I want us to stay together because I do not know how I would do without him. It is killing me to think he would not always be there

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:17 AM on Nov. 16, 2009