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I am right aren't I?

My fil had inappropriate relations with his 16 year old niece 20+ years ago, we found out when I was pregnant with dd #2, my girls are never allowed to spend the night there or be alone with him, my mil thinks we are wrong for this. We are right though I firmly believe this. What do you think?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:23 AM on Nov. 16, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (27)
  • OMG.. YES... I don't know that i'd even want my girls knowing him at all.. YES.. you are right.. How is your MIL justifing it at all anyway?
    maxsmom11807

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 11:25 AM on Nov. 16, 2009

  • Yes, you are right.

    Absolutely, no questions asked.

    You and your DH need to be a united front about this.
    Wimsey

    Answer by Wimsey at 11:26 AM on Nov. 16, 2009

  • No way in hell would I let ANY of my children stay the night or even be alone with a person who not only committed incest but also with a minor. You may get hell for it from other people in the family, but the rest of the world thinks that you're being a great mother!
    not-so-des-hw

    Answer by not-so-des-hw at 11:31 AM on Nov. 16, 2009

  • Just because she forgave him doesn't mean he can be trusted. what does your husband think? I wouldn't let your fil around my kids at all male or female.
    Christina2135

    Answer by Christina2135 at 11:32 AM on Nov. 16, 2009

  • i wouldn't even leave my kids with my mil if she THINKS it's ok to stay byb a man who would abuse a 16 y/o...

    i would NEVER consider letting them be around w/o ME right by their side in your situation... it's not her (mil) kids so she doesn't get a say.
    mommy-2-3

    Answer by mommy-2-3 at 11:32 AM on Nov. 16, 2009

  • what are "inappropriate relations"? Was she raped? molested? consentual?
    And yes you are completely right, they are your children therefore your responsibility to protect.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:33 AM on Nov. 16, 2009

  • I don't give a rats patootie what your MIL thinks. Nothing is worth risking that for your children.
    salexander

    Answer by salexander at 11:38 AM on Nov. 16, 2009

  • Nah, dont think they'd be having alone time with him.
    Amaranth361

    Answer by Amaranth361 at 11:40 AM on Nov. 16, 2009

  • OP- She supposedly came on to him, its his niece by marriage, I do not know the full extent of what happened because dh did not want to know, he was/is hurt and very upset by this. We talked with mil when we found out 3 years ago, she brought it all up yesterday. wanting to know why they couldn't spend the night with them. It was me and dh decision that they don't, we feel our first priority is the safety and health of our girls, all 3 of them. But mil thinks we are being mean, she says he is a good Christan man "who doesn't even look at porn and would never hurt one of those children" I say if it happened once it could always happen again. It just makes me so upset she can't see our point of view. Most of the family thinks we are mean too because they don't know about the past!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:43 AM on Nov. 16, 2009

  • As the mom you are right! You always have the right to do what you think is best for your kids! It does not matter what others think!
    Rebecca727

    Answer by Rebecca727 at 11:44 AM on Nov. 16, 2009

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