say everything was PERFECT in a man, and your relationship except for that when he gets mad he cant control his anger and he yells & screams, chokes you, throws you around .. stuff like that. just no punching. he crys and swears he doesnt want to do that, but he just cant control himself when he gets mad. do you think there is a way to "cure" him and help him learn how to control his anger, and would you even want to give him the chance if you really loved everything else about him?
Answer by Jademom07 at 1:17 PM on Nov. 16, 2009
You mean NOT YET has he PUNCHED. Abusers do NOT change. I just got rid of my second abuser and am sitting here wondering if I should press charges. He's illegal (he's from Haiti and didn't renew some papers years ago) and he's a former criminal (theft) who jst started working his second legitimate job and wants to be a "normal" person. Should I follow through and press charges or ignore him? He's 3 times my size. Hmmmm. My ex commited suicide 12 years after attempting to kill me......
Answer by Anonymous at 1:18 PM on Nov. 16, 2009
Answer by Wimsey at 1:18 PM on Nov. 16, 2009
Answer by Jademom07 at 1:20 PM on Nov. 16, 2009
quote by you: chokes you, throws you around
Not cool at all. Love isn't suppose to be like that. Sound like an immature person.
Answer by Anonymous at 1:23 PM on Nov. 16, 2009
Answer by Wimsey at 1:26 PM on Nov. 16, 2009
You cannot "cure" him, but he can be helped. The way that I would go about this is that I would separate myself from him. I would explain to him the why. I would then tell him that he has said this is not something that he wants to do, and that you do believe him. Tell him you are willing to wait for him if he is willing to get the help that he needs, but you must separate yourself from him until he does. I would say too that it would be a good idea to put some kind of time limit on his getting help. I would then want to talk to whoever had counselled him and get their opinion as to whether or not they think he has been "cured." You could be the incentive that he needs to get the help he needs, but you can't do that if you stay with him. His promises won't be kept. Most men who are angry have issues from early childhood, and the episodes are triggered by something that reminds them. They often don't know what it is.
Answer by NannyB. at 1:28 PM on Nov. 16, 2009
Answer by Wheepingchree at 1:32 PM on Nov. 16, 2009
Answer by Anonymous at 2:01 PM on Nov. 16, 2009
Answer by salexander at 2:02 PM on Nov. 16, 2009
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