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How do you move on?

How do you move on and accept that you have to end a relationship when you still feel in love with them and you have a 6 month old baby with them? i know its been done, but not by me and im not sure how to do it. i end up feeling more depressed without him then i do with him. and i dont understand why i would love someone who would treat me like that?

 
PURPULbutterfly

Asked by PURPULbutterfly at 1:28 PM on Nov. 16, 2009 in Relationships

Level 23 (17,427 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • It's never easy getting over a loved one especially if we have children by them. It took me forever to get over my kids' dad but I finally woke up one day and realized it's time to move on. Each day gets a bit easier then replace time with him with time with others. Do something good for yourself each day and try to meet new people. Let them fill up your days. Take a class, join a group, go visit friends and family. Just stay busy and in time those wounds will heal. Until then, hold our hand and we'll help you get through it.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 7:38 PM on Nov. 16, 2009

  • Check your self esteem and motives.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:29 PM on Nov. 16, 2009

  • only time will help you move on. just concentrate on your baby and work or school. only time will heal you.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:32 PM on Nov. 16, 2009

  • one step at a time. you gotta reflect why the relationship didnt work and if it isnt fixable and not worth it, try to focus on the better future of you and your baby without him. you broke up for a reason so it wasnt meant to be.
    Owl_Feather

    Answer by Owl_Feather at 1:32 PM on Nov. 16, 2009

  • i've been asking myself this same question for months. i'm in a similar boat. not the same tho. my guy cheated on me so it makes it a little easier. even tho he disrespected me, i now have a little boy growing inside of me that may never know his daddy cuz he doesn't care about us. thinking about that helps me get over things, but it still hurts knowing you loved somebody and you can't believe what they did to you. depending on your situation will help determine how you get over him. best wished to a healed heart soon. *hugs*
    islandmom85

    Answer by islandmom85 at 1:33 PM on Nov. 16, 2009

  • Anon is right. You just need time. Surround yourself with friends and family who love you and can help you. Focus on your priorities - school, work, your baby. It will get better with every day, you just have to keep looking ahead and never look back or question yourself. Stay strong.
    Wheepingchree

    Answer by Wheepingchree at 1:34 PM on Nov. 16, 2009

  • I may be 48, but I thought my man and I would have a family together (my second marriage) even though we are different races. The other night, after being disrespected yet again--and he didn't realize what he does), I created a scene. He put his hands on me (I'm bruised and contemplating charges) and I kicked him out of my life. I ask myself this question, "What did he add to my life?" The answer keeps coming up the same~~~Nothing  (except maybe a nice male part, but that can be replaced).  One day at a time, I will and am moving on!!

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:39 PM on Nov. 16, 2009

  • Please realize that if you are being treated like this then chances are the baby will as well as it gets older. Don't let the cycle repeat itself. You're strong and can do it. Focus on what is best for the baby and yourself.
    baconbits

    Answer by baconbits at 1:40 PM on Nov. 16, 2009

  • Are you in love with him or the man you want him to be? There's a big difference. And are you sure this isn't coming from an insecurity of being a single mom? There clearly is a reason you broke up, you need to reflect on that and see why. What kind of advice would you give your child if they were in this situation. And quite simply, put one foot in front of the other...........and take baby steps. In time, it will get easier. Focus on the baby and yourself.
    TheDiva320

    Answer by TheDiva320 at 1:40 PM on Nov. 16, 2009

  • You didn't say what it was he did to you. True love is able to let go. This sounds like selfish "I want a man" which is not productive. Men come and go. If you truly love someone and he isn't right for you you could let him go. Maybe he needs time on his own to grow into a man. If he truly loved you he would take the time and return to you. Unless he has been violent or a druggy then you probably need professional counseling to rebuild your sense of self.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:55 PM on Nov. 16, 2009

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