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im ashamed...

is it normal to feel like no one can take care of your baby like you can? i feel soo bad b/c i dont really want my son to stay with his grandparents because i feel like they dont understand his needs or the way things have to be done with him. i know they love him and they have had children too, but MIL has never taken care of a boy baby and it has been like 20 years for MIL & FIL... and he wasnt thrilled about the pregnancy to begin with, he also believes in all the "old" methods of doing things. i dont feel like he is in danger or anything, i just feel like i dont want to let him go, that no one knows him like me and his dad...

i guess im posting anon because i am sooo ashamed for these feelings. when i was pregnant i would always tell my MIL i was going to be there constantly and we would talk about his over-night stays and how me and DH would be going on dates a few times a month and they would watch him. is this normal

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:22 PM on Nov. 16, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

This question is closed.
Answers (15)
  • Hm. Hey. I think that defines you as MOM. :) NORMAL. NORMAL NORMAL. STOP BEATING YOURSELF UP.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:29 PM on Nov. 16, 2009

  • I admit I suffer from "I'm the best care taker", myself.
    NightPhoenix

    Answer by NightPhoenix at 3:25 PM on Nov. 16, 2009

  • It is normal. I would never let my little ones stay overnight. You'll let them watch him when you are ready.
    mompam

    Answer by mompam at 3:25 PM on Nov. 16, 2009

  • That is completely NORMAL to feel this way. It will pass and you will enjoy being able to leave him with them soon so you can have some "me" time. For now, enjoy him and being with him.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 3:26 PM on Nov. 16, 2009

  • yes it is normal to feel affraid of leaving your baby. you are his mom and noone understands their own childs needs like his mom but dont worry! at some point we all have to let go even for a couple hours or overnight. if your worried you can sit down and talk to your mil about your concerns and she will not be offended. this is what good mothers do. our children are always at the top of our worries. but i can guaranty you that when you do feel comfortable and you allow him to stay with them, everything will go fine
    cassie_m

    Answer by cassie_m at 3:28 PM on Nov. 16, 2009

  • is this your first? i hear thats soo common with a first time mom....i guess my situation was a lil different bc i lived with my mom and she was like the other care-taker (ds donor was nowhere to be found). My mom didnt even like when my dad took care of us, so yes its normal. maybe spending more time together will help. or for little trips, like the grocery store for just milk and bread. it may help you learn to let go a little at a time.
    AmandaN1

    Answer by AmandaN1 at 3:29 PM on Nov. 16, 2009

  • Don't be ashamed!! I am the same way. I haven't left my 11 month old with anyone other than DH for more than a half an hour. It is perfectly normal to be this way. You are the mommy and protector! If you don't trust someone than don't leave your baby with them. As long as you are okay being mom 24/7 there is not a problem.
    It does get easier as they get older. My son is 4 and I am starting to get used to being away from him for longer times. He goes to preschool 3 hours a day and he loves it! His teacher goes on and on about how he is the best behaved child in the class. He doesn't feel like he needs to act out to get attention, he gets enough love and attention at home.
    Keep doing your best mom!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:30 PM on Nov. 16, 2009

  • It's normal and it's true. No one is going to care for your baby exactly like you would. No matter what rules or guidelines you lay down something either gets forgotten, left out, or ignored. Now that sounds terrible but unless it's something major (and what you consider major might be different than what I consider major) it's best to either let it go, or tell them you'd like it if they did things "this way" next time.

    Unless you really fear for your child's safety, in which case you shouldn't be leaving him with them anyway lol, then try to remember that they are not intentionally out to ruin your kid and will more than likely be just fine.

    It's new mommy jitters, it's normal and it's ok.
    Xynyth

    Answer by Xynyth at 3:31 PM on Nov. 16, 2009

  • its totally normal.

    I've got three - and still have those insecurities.
    hypermamaz

    Answer by hypermamaz at 3:35 PM on Nov. 16, 2009

  • It's normal. But understand, that as long as things are done, it doesn't matter how. I had a co worker who felt her mom couldn't get her daughter dressed for bed the right way. You have to draw the line between what is reasonable. And give them time to learn your child. The reason youy are so intune with your child is because you have learned. I bet you didn't know what he wanted the first first time he cried when you got home from the hospital. But you figured it out. And they will too. Try to get past it and let them watch your child a few times. You'll feel better when you realize that just becuase they do things different, doesn't mean he's not taken care of.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:41 PM on Nov. 16, 2009

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