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should i leave?

our relationship seems to be going down hill for a couple months now. we have a 4month old. there are things that i just cant take anymore. like his family in in NY we are in MI and he has yet to tell his family about our son. I have never talked to them, met them, nothing. he hides his phone from me. he doesnt get on it when iam around. he doesnt always tell me who he talks to. he is a private man, but to me its like he is being secretive. he jus stopped talking to his ex because we got into it. and i told him she wouldnt stop unless he did. when we go out, i feel like he is always looking. i dont mind if he looks, you know, but its like hes always looking. i dont want to change him. i just dont like this. and he lied to me the other day. i asked if his ex has contacted him and he told me no. when she had just a few days before. i dont know what to do. i want to go, but i love him so much. he means evrything to me. we are


Asked by krisew90 at 8:20 PM on Nov. 16, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (9)
  • Honestly, it's not good to raise your son in this secretive, stressful environment. It's clearly tearing you up, which would be bad enough if you didn't have this child depending on you to be a good role model. Imagine for just a moment that your son is an adult. Would you rather see him by himself or stuck in an unhealthy relationship with someone who doesn't treat him well? As for the lying and hiding the phone? He's doing something he knows you won't like, and I'd bet that the ex is involved. I know it's hard to accept this idea now, but you'll learn to be happy without him. It'll be hard, and it'll take time, but in the long run it'll be best for everyone. Best of luck.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:10 AM on Nov. 17, 2009

  • trying but it just doesnt seem to be working. i want him to talk to me. be compltly open and honest with me. and he cant. i cant take it anymore. i am not happy like i used to be. dont get me wrong, we still ahve our good days. we just seem to have more bad days than good. should i take our son and just go. or should i continue trying to make our relationship work? he still loves me, i just dont know. please give me helpful advise

    Answer by krisew90 at 8:23 PM on Nov. 16, 2009

  • honestly i'd love to give you some helpful advice, but i wouldn't even try to stick around and fix this one. seems like it was doomed from the start by what you've told me.

    Answer by Hali_Taylor at 8:27 PM on Nov. 16, 2009

  • Sounds to me like there are some serious issues. If you are staying for your son and only your son then you need to go. If you think you can really make it work then try. In the end though if he won't be more open with you then you need to leave. Raising your son in an envirornment with so much secrecy and distrust isn't going to be healthy for you or your son. Those aren't the kind of things you want to teach your son are ok. Best of luck hun.

    Answer by jrsjrb at 8:29 PM on Nov. 16, 2009

  • Thats super shady that his family doesnt know about the baby, when he's had a year to tell them.
    Does he say why he wont tell them?

    From my experience there is only 1 reason for someone to hide their phone like that...

    Answer by Gealach at 8:30 PM on Nov. 16, 2009

  • DUDE.

    Is this for REAL?

    You've never met his family?

    Call me old-fashioned, but I'd take his phone, dial up his momma, and say "HELLO GRAMMY!"


    Answer by Wimsey at 8:56 PM on Nov. 16, 2009

  • Somthing is seriously, seriously wrong. Make an appt for counseling and if he refuses to go leave. Sounds to me like he is already married.

    Answer by SEEKEROFSHELLS at 8:58 PM on Nov. 16, 2009

  • wow I would have told his family myself.. shit.. if he gets mad and leaves over this then oh fucking well.. thats fucked up.. he clearly doesnt love or care about you or his son if he didnt even tell his family.. wow

    Answer by miss_nevin at 9:30 PM on Nov. 16, 2009

  • Well, does he have good relationship with his family? does he ever talk to them? If yes, then I would leave. ...Have you asked him why? You have a right to know! And if he wont tell you or gets upset when you ask then he is hiding something!

    Answer by smarie1011 at 10:58 PM on Nov. 16, 2009