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Would like to have another baby, but afraid I will lose my best friend who has been trying for a long time and can't concieve, what do I do

my best friend has been trying to have a baby for 6 years and she is having a hard time getting pregnant and she makes comments about other women being pregnant and it upsets me because I would love to have another one but I do not want to lose my best friend or want her to judge me

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Asked by Anonymous at 8:24 PM on Nov. 16, 2009 in Trying to Conceive

Answers (7)
  • If you want another baby and are ready for one I would go ahead and start trying. Explain to your friend that you love her and that you are there for her for her issues but you feel you want another child. If she is a friend like you think she is then she should niether judge you nor stop being your friend because you want another child.

    Answer by bcauseimthemom at 8:26 PM on Nov. 16, 2009

  • if she judges you for doing what you want. or if she decides not to be your friend because you can and should be able to have another child then she isn't really a very good friend.
    i know she is hurting. And there are somethings that you do as a friend to help her. But not having a baby when you want one is not one of those things. IMO.

    Answer by outstandingLove at 8:26 PM on Nov. 16, 2009

  • If she isn't happy for you that you're pregnant again, she's not a real friend. A real friend will be happy for you no matter what!

    My husband and I tried for 3 years. My friends were getting pregnant within months of trying. I was Happy for them. If I couldn't get pregnant, I sure was going to make one AWESOME "Aunt."

    Maybe let her know ahead of time that you are trying again just so she knows what you're doing and can take the time to adjust and when the times comes, be happy for you??

    Good luck!

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:27 PM on Nov. 16, 2009

  • you cant put a hold on your family because your friend cant concieve. if you are ready then go for it. she will understand and if she doesnt than maybe she isnt the kind of friend you need. she will most likely be happy for you as you would be for her.

    besides it will happen for her. i have a friend who tried for 10 years and never succeeded. she and her husband addopted about 4 years ago and their daughter is their daughter no matter where swhe came from.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:30 PM on Nov. 16, 2009

  • If she is really your best friend, she will not leave because you get pregnant. She's pretty selfish if she does. Please do not plan your reproduction around a friend.

    Answer by NightPhoenix at 8:57 PM on Nov. 16, 2009

  • I have been trying for 2 years to get pregnant, and when my friends get pregnant, I'm not gonna lie, it kills me a little inside, especially if its an "oops". That being said, I am happy for them and just expect them to let me hold the babies!! :)

    The only time I was really angry when was my sister prematurely announced her pregnancy (it didn't stick, I think she tested really early and had a chemical pregnancy). She had just gotten married and just turned 18, is four years younger than me, and her husband was just about to join the army and be gone for the next year. Plus she is still super selfish, lazy and immature and should NOT have a baby yet.

    Answer by rachelv817 at 12:35 AM on Nov. 17, 2009

  • I agree with the others that you should not put off TTC another baby just because you don't want to hurt her feelings. If that is something that she will quit being your friend over, then is she REALLY your friend to begin with? True friends are there for one another through the thick and thin!

    Being someone that took 4 years to get pg, I know how hard it is when EVERYONE (friends, family, students) around you is getting pregnant and you aren't. Yes, I will admit I might have been a little envious, but never so much that I "hated" or "despised" someone for their precious gift! The one that hurt me the most was when a family member got pg and was not planning on it and acted like it was the end of the world for her...that hurt because I was like - God wouldn't give the baby to you if it wasn't meant to be (now I realize some people are not as deserving, but...).

    Move on with your life and she should follow...

    Answer by SassyJulie at 4:41 PM on Nov. 17, 2009

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