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not my baby mama drama.... messy. help? (all fake names, warning)

I had an affair last year w/ Bob who was married at the time to Sue. They've since filed for divorce and I fixed things w/ my husband. Sue has moved on to enjoying single life, and the divorce is not settled yet since they have girls ages 5 and 7. Bob left the affair with me AND his wife Sue to be with a girl named Kelly who was 9mos preg at the time w/ baby Dan, whose daddy is not in the picture. Bob and Kelly have been living together and he is raising baby Dan as his own, and they take the girls for like 1/2 the month. I ended up having an "oops" preg from this disaster, twin boys now 5mos we'll call Pete and Paul. I told Bob about the pregnancy, invited him to the birth, etc and he ignored all requests and invites. Since my marriage was healed we just began raising the boys and trying to forget about the mess. I just got an email from Sue, wanting info on the twins. Pics, a relationship with her girls. etc. Ignore? Reply?


Asked by Anonymous at 8:54 PM on Nov. 16, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • Are 100% positive that Bob is thre father of the twins? If so I'd reply and let her know that now is not the time for that, to wait til thier a little older. If your not sure, you first neeed to deside if you really want to know. If you dont, then I'd still reply and politely decline her request.


    Answer by HappyMamaBear at 3:50 AM on Nov. 17, 2009

  • Sue has no relation to the twins though, right? That's just a little odd. Ignore.

    Answer by Pnukey at 8:58 PM on Nov. 16, 2009

  • Ignore.

    Answer by SEEKEROFSHELLS at 9:00 PM on Nov. 16, 2009

  • ignore it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:05 PM on Nov. 16, 2009

  • Tell her when the twins are old enough to appreciate meeting the girls then you will consider it. Not now.

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:05 PM on Nov. 16, 2009

  • If you aren't going to tell the boys your DH isn't their real dad there is no need for them to have a relationship with their half-sisters.

    I would explain this to her.

    Answer by Gealach at 9:06 PM on Nov. 16, 2009

  • Ok so her girls are your boys half sisters right? Sue and Bob have 2 girls and your twins are Bob's. That makes them half sibs... If I got that right then I think reply. The girls and boys may not be full blood related but they are sibs. I always wanted to know my half sibs and still wish to find them all. The situation may be icky, but I think it's best for these kids to know eachother and understand their relation. If not could make for weird questions later in life.

    Answer by jrsjrb at 9:09 PM on Nov. 16, 2009

  • I have sorta of the same except I was seperated at the time and I do think that the kids should know either other..

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:27 PM on Nov. 16, 2009

  • reply they are sibs they deserve to get to know each other the better

    i have a sister thats twelve from my dad(neither of us have contact with him) she has been raised thinking that her stepdad is her father it wasnt until 2 years ago that she asked how we were sisters

    Answer by liadotwtd at 9:50 PM on Nov. 16, 2009

  • OP here.
    So her relation is.. well, nothing. Her daughters are their half siblings. Because of my admiration for her girls I've chosen not to seek child support as the divorce has been costly for them.... but 2 cribs, carseats, marriage counseling, etc has been hard to swallow here too.
    I'd like to tell her that my boys and her girls look so similar and share and be friendly but on the other hand the guilt and creeped out-ness is not appealing to me.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:57 PM on Nov. 16, 2009