Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

How do you deal with your spiritual beliefs changing..... another point.

So I've been doubting the existence of the God in the bible that I've been taught to follow my whole life... My major problem is that I would be so depressed after church it did me more harm than good. I've gone to churches that preach "fire and brimstone" which makes me feel like scum after that. But the major issue is that I was in a sexually abusive relationship with a guy that went to my church. I've been diagnosed with PTSD and unfortunatly church is a trigger for me. Another words when I'm at church it reminds me or gives me flashbacks of these terrible incedents.
Alot of the responses I got we're like "don't blame God, etc" I don't blame God. I question his absence during these occasions. My dad always talks about how he prays about something and gets an answer. I never had these revelations or answers. My whole point is this when your beliefs change it's like a part of you is missing. Does anyone have advice on that?

Answer Question
 
ainstalshia

Asked by ainstalshia at 10:57 PM on Nov. 16, 2009 in Religion & Beliefs

Level 6 (99 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • I went through a period not long ago where I doubted God existed. I can relate to the sexual abuse, though it did not happen in my church family. I think if church is a trigger maybe you should take a break from it.

    God will not be angry or hurt just because you don't go to church every Sunday. The point is to spend time with him. Also, if you are not already, I would consider seeing a psychologist (that helped me greatly).

    So, are you questioning why God didn't stop these terrible things from happening to you?
    TMayes

    Answer by TMayes at 11:01 PM on Nov. 16, 2009

  • Are you saying that you decided not to believe in God anymore and once you made that decision you felt as if something was missing? If yes, wow. You need to go back to Jesus. You don't have to go to church to be saved.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:03 PM on Nov. 16, 2009

  • The thing is He is never absent...He is there when it all happens but cannot do everything... free will keeps Him from doing so but He also knows the whole picture and intervenes only when He can.
    I wondered why my mom tried to kill her self with me standing there watching it... I went through some healing of that and found out that Jesus was there with me crying with me and protecting me from any harm. He is always there, we just do not always recognize it until later .
    Shaneagle777

    Answer by Shaneagle777 at 11:35 PM on Nov. 16, 2009

  • My advice from before stands(Im not christian anymore).

    However,adding in your other point from this question...

    "when your beliefs change it's like a part of you is missing. Does anyone have advice on that?"

    Yes, thats exactly how it felt for me when I changed from christian to wicca. It was a big adjustment and I had a lot of guilt and fear that I had to overcome. I took it a day at a time and reinforced myself wtih thoughts of why I felt as I did and how my soul felt on my new path. I put the focus there rather on what I was leaving behind. I put down pros and cons so I could see what I had and what I didnt. What I believed was written down too so I could go there and SEE my path. I would meditate in the mornings for a few minutes and FEEL the Divine inside and around me, the calm that I needed.

    Its a day by day process when you are shifting, especially if you are shifting so BIG(kwim).
    Amaranth361

    Answer by Amaranth361 at 11:37 PM on Nov. 16, 2009

  • I am not Christian.
    My beliefs change and i feel like nothing is missing. In fact, i feel like i grow more whole. Faith is a journey. And each time i discover something new it's like making a small left turn or suddenly noticing something on the trail i didn't notice before.
    ...what you once believed is not missing. It's still there. You can turn around, and look at where you've been and it's there. But there is something different ahead of you now.
    outstandingLove

    Answer by outstandingLove at 11:47 PM on Nov. 16, 2009

  • I was Christian, even thought I was born again at one point, but never found any comfort in any of it. So I started looking into other paths. After months of research I realized it was OK to let go of those thoughts and feelings of trying to believe in something I didn't really believe it. It was like years of guild and weight had been literally lifted of my shoulders!!!


    Research other paths and religions, you may just find one that suits you. Maybe, if you are Catholic look at the congregational church... if you want to stay with in the Christian religions, there pleanty. Look at Buddhism or Paganism. Research anything that you can, and you will find what feels comfortable and right for for you!! No one religion is right for all...  No matter what anyone says.... walk your own path!!!

    Morgain

    Answer by Morgain at 12:27 AM on Nov. 17, 2009

  • This is a hard situation and I won't presume to be an expert. But looking at it from the outside it seems that your doubt may not be so much with God himself but with the image of God and the people of God, at least the ones you have encountered. Unfortunately many of the "fire and brimstone" churches have forgotten the "love and grace". So they only show the judgement of God. Make no mistake God will judge, but and this is a very big point, God want all to be saved. He has gone to great lengths to draw people to Him. Even having you come here seeking answers could be His leading. The same God that is holy and just is also mercyful. We all sin, but we all can be saved with a simple profession of faith in Jesus. That is the love and mercy of God.
    Cont.
    teamquinn

    Answer by teamquinn at 2:05 AM on Nov. 17, 2009

  • cont.
    As far as the responces you have gotten, I would suspect it is a case of people responding and trying to "fix" or "help" you when what you really need is someone to listen and understand your feelings. So often we don't know what to say so we say the wrong thing. I'm not saying that God is to blame for what happened to you. I believe He gave man free will and people choose wrong evil things, as your abuser did. But, what I think doesn't really matter. What matters is that you are hurt, probably angry, and maybe confussed.
    I say all of this to say that you might try several different churches until you find one that is more compassionate and better at dealing with those who are hurting.
    teamquinn

    Answer by teamquinn at 2:10 AM on Nov. 17, 2009

  • "My whole point is this when your beliefs change it's like a part of you is missing. Does anyone have advice on that?"

    Well...look at it this way. The part that's missing is the part that was made to feel like crap, based on your own description. Not a bad thing to be rid of.

    [It's normal to feel badly about something that's changed. We're all resistant to change. There's honestly nothing wrong with you here...you're healing. And that's a WONDERFUL thing.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 3:01 AM on Nov. 17, 2009

  • My discovery has been that god isn't a "person" who can make decisions or judge and that praying to him is like kneeling before a brick wall. "He" is more like a lifeforce. An energy. Some negative people create their own demons from this energy (Jeffrey Dahmer, Adolf Hitler, Jim Jones) and some positive people create their own gods (my mother, Oprah). You can use the godforce to improve your life. Fate gives us bad situations, but the universal energy helps us survive them. You know now. There really isn't a big sky daddy out there protecting us and listening to our problems. That's step #1. Now start researching. You might not decide to be an atheist witch like me, but you will find another path. I was fearful and unsure the day I discarded the god concept. But it does get better.
    witchqueen

    Answer by witchqueen at 1:16 PM on Nov. 17, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN