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Should I push harder for a baby or just let it go?

DH and I have a 3 year old next month. He is DD step father but has been in her life since she was 9 months. I had been wanting another baby since DD was 1 1/2 but DH wasn't ready, he said we werent finanacaly ready and a couple other things which he had good points still not satisifing the hunger but I put it on the back burner. After all we are only 21 and 22 at the time. Well now DH has a way better job and we have payed off all our debt but the car (we were never struggling before, but we were selling his condo and living with family to get on our feet) Now we are renting from an aunt of his and he makes 3x more money. The place isn't perminant in fact it could be long term or short. No worries cause we are banking $ for down payment on a house. The point is should I push the baby thing again when brought up in convo he says if it happens then it happens but I am on BC so... Probably won't "just happen"


Asked by amommy2a2yrold at 11:42 PM on Nov. 16, 2009 in Relationships

Level 8 (241 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • Just ask him what his long term goals are. Listen to hear if children are in those goals. If they are not then ask him when he thinks a good time will be to have a child. Men like timelines. They like planning. Allow him to plan and you get your baby. Win Win

    Answer by admckenzie at 8:28 AM on Nov. 17, 2009

  • So stop taking birth control, secretly if you have to. he says if it happens it happens, so increase the chances, cause obviously he doesnt care if it does or doesnt, once its done, its done. theres no discussing it anymore. GL.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:05 AM on Nov. 17, 2009

  • dont do what the anon says, put the shoe on the other foot would u want him forcing a baby on you if you didnt want to
    just talk to him about it plain ans simple

    Answer by ARRI23 at 12:16 AM on Nov. 17, 2009

  • you could just when you run out of bc just tell him hi so i ran out of Bc and see what he says..\

    Answer by miss_nevin at 12:42 AM on Nov. 17, 2009

  • Ask him if he wants you to go off your BC and see what happens. I wouldn't get pregnant on purpose without his approval. It could cause major relationship issues.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:33 AM on Nov. 17, 2009

  • DON"T secretly get pregnant. Jeez, that's the last thing you need. To be pregnant and arguing. Tell him again about your desire to have a baby. Both of you sit and weigh the pros and cons. If I were you, I would wait until you had your own house. That way you will both feel more secure, and he may even tell you then that he's ready to have another baby at that point. You want him to be excited, right? So try to have a baby when you are BOTH wanting to. You would never want any resentment towards you or your baby because you were dishonest.

    Answer by Katlyne120806 at 2:49 AM on Nov. 17, 2009

  • I would talk to him. DS will be 5 next month. I do not want him to be an only child but my husband is happy with the family of 3. At this point in time we are in a good place financially to have a baby. But my husband just got back from Iraq in July. And we weren't in the same household til last month. I wanted to enjoy the 3 of us before added another person to the mix. Than we would be moving in May. I want us to be on the same page when we decided to have baby. You will know when its time.

    Answer by oragami at 8:48 AM on Nov. 17, 2009