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I let her cry it out today and feel BAD. Advice?

My daughter will be 8 months tomorrow. I'm 19 and I've done fairly well with her up until now. I'm home alone all day with the baby, and she seems to have become attatched to my hip, maybe I spoiled her by picking her up too much. She can't play by herself, she wants me sitting right next to her. It's so hard to get things done, especially my homework, I'm in college, and I feel so stressed. Today was a super whiny day for her, and I had a speech due that I needed to practice, so I put her in her swing and let her cry for 10 minutes. Then she wailed so sad, I had to pick her up. I pat her back on the couch till she fell asleep. I feel bad, but this is where it's getting tough and I'm not sure what to do, how to parent. She's getting very whiny and dependent (which is fine, but I don't want to spoil her), and I am not sure about my approach. Help!!

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Asked by Bernie19 at 12:51 AM on Nov. 17, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

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Answers (7)
  • I did attachment parenting, so I carried my daughter all the time! She is now a very independent 16 month old. I also have been going to school full time since she was born. I know it is very hard, but letting her hang all over you right now (which is just a phase, don't worry!) she will grow into a very secure, independent little girl! Do what you feel is best, you are the mother, but remember, this phase will pass, and then you will wonder were the time went! Good luck!

    Answer by smzuzu at 1:01 AM on Nov. 17, 2009

  • I never agreed when my mother and grand mother told me to let my son "cry it out." It felt so wrong to let my tiny little man scream like that. I tried it on two different occassions and both times it really wrecked me.
    Everyone has their own opinon, but picking up my son and never doing that again was the right one for us.
    I did as smzuzu above said she did and I packed him around a lot or kept him near. It was great for us and he developed into a very secure, yet independent little boy.
    Good luck with whatever you decide.

    Answer by Chickie12 at 1:11 AM on Nov. 17, 2009

  • My son turned 8 months today and has been a pill all weekend. Every time I put him down he wails like I've just hurt him. I have a burn on my hip from carrying him around!

    It's separation anxiety. It's a normal developmental phase. I would be concerned if she didn't act this way, it means she's developed a healthy bond to you and it will serve her for the rest of her life to have made this bond.

    She's not spoiled, just well-loved. She'll get over it eventually and you'll be chasing her down to get some hugs! I put my LO in the ergo on my back and get things done that way.... he's happy for a while and I have both arms free without him trying to grab everything.

    Answer by LeanneC at 1:18 AM on Nov. 17, 2009

  • You CANNOT spoil an infant. Period. She needs to be held for security. Infants are really little cave people...they're ruled by instinct, and instinct tells them that mom's arms are the safest place where they won't get eaten by a sabertooth!

    Get a will make all the difference.

    Answer by gdiamante at 2:49 AM on Nov. 17, 2009

  • Baby-wearing made a tremendous difference for me, it is great!
    My favorite carrier is the Ergo~ check it out! ;-)

    Answer by doulala at 5:37 AM on Nov. 17, 2009

  • mom, here's the thing. It's fine for other people to tell you what to do. However, when it feels wrong to you, you need to listen to yourself. You are the best mother for your child. If allowing her to cry feels wrong to you, it is wrong!

    Answer by apexmommy at 7:28 AM on Nov. 17, 2009

  • Perfectly said, apexmommy!

    Answer by Chickie12 at 7:47 AM on Nov. 17, 2009

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