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How do I go through a pregnancy with very little support from my family?

I'm 19 (turning 20 in a couple days) and just found out I was pregnant a few days ago. I told my boyfriend...we both decided on abortion because of our circumstances...I'm in my 3rd year of college with a year and a half to graduate and we are both no so great with money. At least I get my own bills paid on time but still...My mom had me at 16 and has worked VERY hard to give me the best life and has done so successfully. I've never once felt like I've missed out on opportunities because she had me at such a young age. I LOVE my mom and would never do anything to hurt her...which is why I'm scared to have this baby. I know once I tell her she will feel disappointed in me and tell me that abortion would be the best thing for me but after getting all the information on it, I could never live with myself if I went through it...So my boyfriend and I decided to keep the baby, are we making the right decision? how will we survive?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 8:42 AM on Nov. 17, 2009 in Pregnancy

Answers (11)
  • If possible stay in college & finish up. You are not good with money, well you had better learn to be asap. Don't give in & be another welfare mother, you are moving in the right direction. Keeping this baby is an adult disicion so start acting like one.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:02 AM on Nov. 17, 2009

  • my mother was also a teenage mom and sacrificed a lot for me i ended up getting pregnant at 20 before i finished college and was afraid to tell her. when i finally did and told her i was keeping the baby i was surprised to find her not only supportive but excited at the prospect of a new baby yes she was disappointed that i had gotten pregnant so young but she got over it really quick and my boy friend and i worked opposite shifts for a couple of years to be able to take care of her and not have to get assistance from anyone we aren't the best with money but we always found a way somehow as far as help from my parents the only help they gave was watching her while i went to school and my boyfriend was at work they love their grandbaby but they weren't going to raise her for me all i can say is tell your mom she may get mad and not talk to you for a while but once the babies here she'll come around if not before then

    Answer by jen699 at 9:18 AM on Nov. 17, 2009

  • What about adoption?  My cousins adopted two kids and they are loved more because of it, the kids were the answer to there prayers. Then the child could have all the love and a life. You could finish school and be ready to have a family before you start one. And I recommend getting on a more reliable birth control so you don't have to make this difficult decision again.


    Answer by DevilInPigtails at 9:26 AM on Nov. 17, 2009

  • see what kind of resources your univ has. some have none some have lots. i work at a univ and there are brand new apartments with an attached day care center for students who are parents. my undergrad univ and my graduate univ had no such thing though.

    you might be surprised by your mom's reaction. my mom first got pregnant when she was 16. then when my sister got pregnant at 18, she was worried, but supportive and never suggested abortion... um, of course she is a conservative christian so.... it's different of course.

    you should have all but your senior year completed, then you might want to take a semester off depending on your schedule and when your baby is due. some professors will be very supportive and will let you miss weeks of class.

    i had my son while in grad school and took a 6 week leave in the middle of a semester. i took the easiest possible classes and arranged everything w/ my profs. good luck!

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:15 AM on Nov. 17, 2009

  • I had my daughter at 19 too, and my family was more then supportof then I could have ever thought. Yes its difficult, but if you have sex you can get pregnant. as for what to do, check out garage sells, hand-me-downs are great and only buy what you need to. Try to breastfeed and pump, yes this can be tiddious and time consuming, but does cut down on cost of formula. Good luck, and remember everything does take a lot of work and time.

    Answer by Ferdymom at 10:24 AM on Nov. 17, 2009

  • You need to build your own family. You cannot have a child and expect help from anyone. Get married; if one of you becomes incapacitated, the other may be banned from the hospital and will not have a say in any medical decisions.

    No matter what it takes, you both need to finish your education, or you will just be another stereotypical teen mother.

    Good luck to all of you

    Answer by rkoloms at 10:24 AM on Nov. 17, 2009

  • well you can support your own family without the support of your family many people do it but its nice to know your family is on your side with the decision not easy to do but you need to sit down and look at finances and your situation and go from there.

    as for rkoloms i do not think she ment for her mom or family to pay for things and what not i think shes asking if they turned their back and not supported her on her decision

    Answer by Mommy2Be1212009 at 10:40 AM on Nov. 17, 2009

  • Thank you all for your answers! I really appreciate it and yes to clarify my question I didn't mean I needed monetary help from my family I just meant if they're not supportive of my decision...I pay my own rent, bills, etc...even my parents phone bills so I don't need anyone's money I just need them to be there for me emotionally. But again thank you all! That really helps!

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:02 AM on Nov. 17, 2009

  • hun i was 19 when i had my first, married too and my family was pissed, now they love my princess and she is spoil!! when i got preggo with ds it wa sthe same thing. i was 21 he is now 8 mts and his the man!! lol

    Answer by piwife at 11:32 AM on Nov. 17, 2009

  • lol well thank u that makes me feel better about my situation! i hope my baby is the man or woman too! lol

    Answer by hulahoney at 11:37 AM on Nov. 17, 2009

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