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How do you ease a teenage girl's constant materialism?

How can I get my teenage girl to not be so demanding?
Her Christmas list is very costly and she will not be getting anything from the list.


Asked by farmwifetracey at 11:12 AM on Nov. 17, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

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Answers (12)
  • All good ideas above. Give her a budget. Or a gift card for the budget can buy an American Express gift card and let her do her own shopping for what she wants. It'll give her some idea of the value of things.

    Answer by gdiamante at 5:01 PM on Nov. 17, 2009

  • my parents never told us how much they made but they did have us work for money so we had an idea of earning money and I remember a few times when they sat us down and showed us the budget. When we saw all those big numbers on paper we began to understand why we couldnt have everything. It was a good lesson.

    Answer by ria7 at 11:17 AM on Nov. 17, 2009

  • Tell her to write you a list of reasons why she should get those things... 5 reasons for every item on the list. Tell her you want to make sure she is realizing how not to take things for granted.. ??

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:18 AM on Nov. 17, 2009

  • my parents also gave us a limit for Christmas. They may say you each get $100 or $200 depending on their finances that year. Im 30 yrs old and they still do that. My mom calls us and says we are doing $100 per grandkid..send a list.

    Answer by ria7 at 11:19 AM on Nov. 17, 2009

  • Just tell her the truth, Christmas is not about demanding anything, It is about God and giving.
    You made her this way now you will have to show not to be so selfish.

    Go to the mall or your church and get those name tags for kids that will only be getting one gift. Need to show her kids that have nothing.

    I would always tell my kids when they where young to make a short list, but the first 3-things are what you really want.

    Answer by gammie at 11:21 AM on Nov. 17, 2009

  • What types of things does she want for Christmas? Laptop? Tickets to a concert? Name brand shoes/clothes?

    Is she working yet or babysitting? Maybe you can let her know you will help her out with some of the things she wants for Christmas if she pays half.

    Also, I don't believe you MADE her this way. Some kids just want things because their friends have them. It's typical teen/kid behavior, doesn't mean it's your fault. It's normal for kids to want outlandish things for bdays and xmas. Heck, my six yr old twins and five year old daughter want everything they see on tv. They don't always get everything, but we manage to get a few select things along with "bargain buy" toys and clothes.

    Maybe there is a way you can alter the list by sitting down with her and seeing which is a "need" vs a "want".


    Answer by CinderAmethyst at 11:33 AM on Nov. 17, 2009

  • Restrict what she can have. You are the parents providing for her, therefore, you have the first and last say in what you buy for her. She needs to learn the difference between Need and Want. If she doesn't learn that now, then your problem will on become worse. You are providing for her, so everything that you buy for her directly effects how materialistic she is. If you don't given in to her every demand and every "Want", then she won't get everything she wants. She'll be okay if she doesn't have everything she wants.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 12:04 PM on Nov. 17, 2009

  • We don't have our kids make lists. My younger sister has had my nephew make a list from a very young age and she always gets him everything on the list, no matter what the cost (they have the money). He's come to expect to get everything he asks for which I think is wrong. I know it helps when your shopping to have a list, but I think if you're going to ask for a list you need to set some guidelines such as price, practicality, etc.
    My older sister set guidelines with my niece and one year my niece listed 4 items. 3 were relatively inexpensive and 1 was expensive. She 'gave my sister the option' of buying the 3 cheaper items or the 1 expensive item. My sister ended up buying her two of the cheaper items which I thought was pretty funny.
    Good luck!


    Answer by not-the-momma at 12:15 PM on Nov. 17, 2009

  • Help her get a job so she will understand money. I am 16 and was the same way until last year my parents quit buying me expensive clothes and music and fun things. They only bought me neccesities I couldnt afford and gifts on holidays. I have learned alot from it and respect the gifts they do pay for much more. Your daughter may not realize that someone has to work very hard to pay for those luxeries and she is way old enough to learn.

    Answer by amber710 at 1:00 PM on Nov. 17, 2009

  • Stop buying her expensive things. Time are tough for everyone. I recently had my 16 ds do the bills with me. He sat at the computer with me and entered the numbers in to pay the bills. He said WOW it costs that much? He just turned 16 and will be searching for a job. He does get an allowance but must work for it with a chore chart. We had always tried to teach him the value of the dollar. Good Luck

    Answer by dillonsma at 1:35 PM on Nov. 17, 2009