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how can we get a 6yr old boy to play by himself?

My SO has a 6yr old boy and he will not play by himself. He is always right under our feet. We buy him toys and games and we do play with him but if we are doing something else that he cant he doesnt know what to do with him self. we have him part time everyother weekend and once a week. We give him a ton of attention and I dont know what else to do. Please HELP! is this normal will he grow out of it. if so when?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:00 PM on Nov. 17, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (6)
  • You mention nothing about problems so I'm going to assume there are no developmental delays. How recent is the separation of the family? I fthats been a while...how recent are you in Dads life? If either of those are in the last year or so iit sounds like a little boy who is extremely stressed and needs his Dads one on one. He may feel unsure of his place in Dads life if you are a new addition in the last few months. Kids of divorce frequently fantasize about parents reuniting.
    If nothing here sounds like it may fit is he having trouble at school with recess? Is he withdrawn anywhere? By six he should have the ability to play alone. If he can't it's time to do some detective work to find the source.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 12:09 PM on Nov. 17, 2009

  • his parents seperated about 3 years ago. I have been in the picture for 2. I treat him as if he was my own. There are no delays on development. I am unsure of his lifestyle at his mothers but he has been shuffled around by her with multiple men and homes. Finally she is married and getting settled. This is his 3rd school and he is in kindergarden. he was held back this year. I dont think she gives him much attention because when we call to talk to him she is screaming his name and when he is at our house he is in the same room as us except when he sleeps. He has his own bedroom.
    Also, When we drop off or she picks up she always calls with him in the same room or car and screams at my SO about childsupport and things we have. I know this would make me feel upset and have anxiety. I just dont know what my SO can do. We dont have the money for an attorney and all she cares about is money and hurting her ex. any suggestions????
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:17 PM on Nov. 17, 2009

  • my SO pays her 665.00 a month fathfully in support. What else is there to B*tch about. HE is well taken care of at our house. OH and the last 3 weekends he has came to our house his clothes REEK of MILDEW! I dont get it. she doesnt even work.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:19 PM on Nov. 17, 2009

  • Wow, I'm convinced he's stressed now. The mildew is a healthy hazard. If that continues it HAS to be addressed. If not directly, then throught the authorities. From all you've explained he is screaming in a non verbal way for attention, human loving contact and reassurance. Three schools in such a short time also rips the security right out from under a child. Hell, moves shake the security of adults much less kids. When he is with you do lots of one on one and family time. I would be watching for signs of neglect each and every visit. Hi Mom is doing him no favors.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 1:03 PM on Nov. 17, 2009

  • My SS is like this. I tell him he has to go play in his room for X amount of minutes. It started off small, but the time has grown a bit, and this gives me time to have a mental break or get something done.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:35 PM on Nov. 17, 2009

  • I understand you.... even if you only have him PT, you need some down time. Sounds like he may have problems with transitions (which is NORMAL). Try giving him undivided attention as soon as he arrives, then let him know- I need to get this done and you need to entertain yourself for X amount of time. I know people are not big fans of TV or video games, but I find that in moderation they can be useful for this type of situation. As for outgrowing it- YES- they do get more independent as they get older. My teen is hardly ever around anymore-sniff!
    wildboyz1994

    Answer by wildboyz1994 at 9:59 AM on Nov. 18, 2009

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