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8 year old doesn't fear punishment. Getting in severe trouble at school! What do we do?

My stepson is 8 and is almost failing the 3rd grade. He's always been good at our house with very few complaints but the last couple of months have been awful and the last two weekends have been the worst. After acting out by doing several different things, we took away games, took away toys and even spanked .. All with the same result. Doing the same thing. His teacher has requested a meeting with us on friday of this week because he is doing the same thing at school. I just need help! I dont know what to do when he won't fear punishment. My husband is scared and is tired of constantly taking things away. His mother is tired of this constantly. We're all very consistent with the punishments. Please someone.. We're losing control of him fast !!

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Asked by Anonymous at 12:12 PM on Nov. 17, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (6)
  • Could it be ADD? Maybe discuss it with the school. It sounds like my son who has ADD.

    Answer by mompam at 12:14 PM on Nov. 17, 2009

  • I currently have my 9 year old grandson who was never a problem. Now he is testing the waters to see what he can get away with. He does have ADD and we try to keep as regular a routine as possible. I use the time out for punishment. And he has to sit where he can't look out a window or see TV. There must be something he likes. If it's a video game or TV or computer, you need to lay the ground rules and what the consequences qare for breaking a rule. It may mean turning off the TV for all of the family or putting away a game system. Have you spoken to him about what is happening at the other residence( sound like he splits his week) At this age they are making lasting friendships and having to go to another home on the weekends is hard for him. How can he maintain a friendship if his life is in turmoil going back and forth. You probably need to seek professional counseling.

    Answer by seasidegrandma at 12:26 PM on Nov. 17, 2009

  • Try rewarding positively behavior. To encourage a different behavior. Also if there is a sudden change there is usually a cause. Is he having trouble with his teacher or a kids at school, did something change at either home? See what the school counselor suggests. he is a lucky boy that both house holds are consistent and all parties communicate, good for you all.


    Answer by DevilInPigtails at 1:02 PM on Nov. 17, 2009

  • why dont you let him go on a tour of the local juvinal detention home, ask him if he wants to end up there, if that doesnt work i know jails do it around here. scare him straight. i work in an innercity school and that is a reality for our kids. they have visited fam in jail, etc... so maybe you could try that. because if he wont listen to anyone, that is what might happen. good luck.

    Answer by AmaliaD at 2:42 PM on Nov. 17, 2009

  • All of these are good suggestions. Also look for possible medical reasons.

    Answer by gdiamante at 4:46 PM on Nov. 17, 2009

  • Send him to timeout for his age of 8 minutes.

    Have him write sentences 20 times on whatever he did wrong. Ex: I will be good in school
    Or whatever you want it worded this is just for him to understand that you are going to take this lightly.

    Or send him to his room with no tv and read a book and he better not fall asleep...or else. GL

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:00 PM on Nov. 17, 2009

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