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Answers / Parenting / School-Age Kids (5-8)

How do I punish my 7 year old without her hating me?

I have a 7 year old daughter who is very sweet and smart. Right now I seem to have problems getting her to listen to me when I ask her to do things. For example, I ask her to clean her room after school. I am at work during that time. When I come home her room is still a mess. I then have to ask her again to clean her room. When I come back to check on her she's playing piano or just fooling around and haven't touched a thing. I don't spank her for that but I would like you all to share your ideas on how I could get her to do what she's told without hurting her feelings. She has an autistic brother and a baby sister and they're not told to do anything, so I don't want her to feel bad. I am trying to teach her some responsibility, but at the same time I try to give her room for freedom.

 
luvelymommy

Asked by luvelymommy at 1:38 PM on Nov. 17, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

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Answers (4)
  • Well you need to start doing something or she going to be a full blowen terror without any discipline. I love priviledges they work well. Also I have heard that having Autistic Children do chores is good for them they just need to be simple. All children thrive with a little responsibility and respect. I am not sure if you have talked with a therapist about your Autistic child and chores but if not it might be really good for them. Not trying to say you are not doing all you could but I know how when a child already has difficulties you just want to make the world easier for them, but a lot of times this is worse for them then having expectations and resposibilities for them.
    PsychMommie

    Answer by PsychMommie at 2:21 PM on Nov. 17, 2009

  • I would leave her a task list (put away shoes, put dirty clothes in hamper, etc.). If all of her tasks are complete, then she earns a priviledge (like a half hour of TV).
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 1:41 PM on Nov. 17, 2009

  • she wont hate you, if she knows what is expected of her and doesn't complete it and you think it's within her abilities then definitely punish her how you see fit. my son is three and is told to clean his room, i know it's never going to look like when i clean it, but he knows what is expected of her. i punish him if i find him playing instead of cleaning (he's three so that's normal, i tell him several times to keep him on track)
    angevil53

    Answer by angevil53 at 2:01 PM on Nov. 17, 2009

  • You want to discipline without hurting her feelings? Yeah...that's going to happen.

    Who is in charge of her when you're gone? The adult should be responsible to make sure she does her chores.

    And not to mention, you're ASKING her to do something you're not TELLING her to do something. It makes a difference. Even my 2 year old knows that if I ask him to do something he can refuse, but if I tell him to do it he better get moving.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:30 PM on Nov. 17, 2009

Answers / Parenting / School-Age Kids (5-8)