Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

DOes anyone ever feel obligated to gift?

like my ILs not just MIL and FIL I don't like them but of course we HAVE to...and yea we kinda have to my husband wants to.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:39 PM on Nov. 17, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • It makes sense that a man would want to give gifts to his parents. I have pretty much lost Christmas spirit, I'm afraid, and don't really feel like buying for most of the people that I do, but I hope that I'll perk up again so am thinking and shopping.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 4:42 PM on Nov. 17, 2009

  • No the only inlaws I get gifts for are my MIL and SO's little sister. MIL does alot for my kids. FIL, not so much, we don't get along very well and he never has sent gifts for my kids. They are divorced BTW.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:43 PM on Nov. 17, 2009

  • yea, I know his parents are a given! hehe, but others ugh, I just don't feel like spending all that money
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:45 PM on Nov. 17, 2009

  • Ya I feel obligated and I HATE my IL's, but if we don't buy gifts EVERYONE talks crap about us
    Juicy_Mom_of_2

    Answer by Juicy_Mom_of_2 at 4:49 PM on Nov. 17, 2009

  • Yes, we feel obligated but we don't have the money to buy everyone gifts. Honestly, some relatives make it extremely hard to even feel obligated. They only have anything to do with us when they feel like it or around the holidays. It's like they are trying to see what they can get from us when they know we don't have money to throw around. We took a family photo last year and as tacky as some will probably say that is, it's all we had to give. And of course it was not enough. DH and I didn't even get to give each other anything, just our kids, parents and siblings got anything from us. I dread the holidays.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:07 PM on Nov. 17, 2009

  • Sometimes I feel obligated but mostly I like te gift of giving! I like choosing something and waiting to surprise them...but some people are just really hard to shop for or they ahve everything so they arent so much fun.
    ria7

    Answer by ria7 at 5:15 PM on Nov. 17, 2009

  • We actually don't do gifts for his family because there are just too many of them. Ten siblings total, plus all but one are married or has a SO...and there are a total of like...27 or 29 grandkids...two more on the way just at this moment plus the SO son. So we usually either just send cards and do our own things as individual families, or last year they had a get together and we all just brought one gift and did a swap thing. Made life much easier...I don't even know all the kids names and ages. Sometimes we'll get his mom a little something, but if we don't get together she'll be in FL so we dont' see her...so usually just a card and some pictures of our dd or something.
    ErinHill226

    Answer by ErinHill226 at 5:25 PM on Nov. 17, 2009

  • We only buy for immediate family. It totals out to be 27 people. I do buy for one of my dad's sister and her family. She has always bought my family presents when i was younger so we included her in our list. I have have one child and we could give everyting plus more. We do limit to one present per person but we try and get something useful or that they would like.
    oragami

    Answer by oragami at 8:45 PM on Nov. 17, 2009

  • We get gifts for the parents (mine and his) and the kids (the 1 we have together and my stepson) other than that we just do cards.
    bjw_053109

    Answer by bjw_053109 at 8:45 PM on Nov. 17, 2009

  • I think the nieces and nephews take priority with the gift giving. I think the whole gift giving thing is overdone. Of course stores want you to feel obligated though. I often hear time with family is what it is all about. But I thought it was suppose to be about Jesus. See its all messed up. So no you should not feel obligated. If I were you I would make my husband do it. I'd say "I don't want to get them anything so if you think it is that important than you can do it." Just pass the buck.
    Tickledtrauma

    Answer by Tickledtrauma at 10:52 PM on Nov. 17, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.

Next question in Relationships
Do you think my memory is off??

Next question overall (Tweens (9-12))
Is it time?

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN