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Is this acceptable behavior... is he just trying to be a friend?

This guy I work with is an old classmate of mine. He is a great guy and helped me a lot when I was having trouble in my relationship. He always tried to get me thinking positively and put a smile on my face. Ok, well back in the day I showed him my boobies after I pierced them and the other day he asked if I still had them done and I told him no... he said that I ruined his dreams and laughed about it and talked about how nice they were... he also kept coming into my office and was playing around with me and wrestling me... was emailing me about it and telling me about how I never going back to his office to visit him... after that day, he won't really talk to me or come in and play around. I like him as a friend and that's it since he has a girlfriend

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:38 PM on Nov. 17, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • Sounds like he is flirting with you. Sometimes it is very easy to flirt. And some guys get caught up in it. If your uncomfortable with anything he does you should tell him. Or just ignore him and don't act on anything he does and he will get a clue...Maybe its just flirting with him..or it could be more..Its really hard to tell because I don't know the guy! Also keep in mind that just because he has a girlfriend does not mean he will or is faithful to her.

    Answer by smarie1011 at 9:42 PM on Nov. 17, 2009

  • sounds like he opened the door to flirt, by talking about your boobies from back in the day, attempted to flist by wrestling and emailing, you didnt react the way he wanted, and he realized you arent interested in THAT way so he backed off

    Answer by Owl_Feather at 9:42 PM on Nov. 17, 2009

  • LMAO flist....I meant flirt

    Answer by Owl_Feather at 9:43 PM on Nov. 17, 2009

  • You showed him your Boobies/ WHY? Holy cow. THAT is inappropriate and sort of exhibitionism. I don't think it is acceptable behavior for him to wrestle around with you but if you showed him your boobies, what did you expect? This is crazy! Are you just kidding around? I hope so because itsounds really bad. Sorry, but it does.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:43 PM on Nov. 17, 2009

  • OP HERE - I showed him when I was in high school at a party and also kissed him (he doesn't remember that part)... it was a bad stage I went through but I am way over it. I enjoy his friendship and like that he comes and talks to me. I really have no problem with it but I don't want to be one of those girls who flirt with another girls man... if what I am doing or he is doing is considered flirting, I don't think of it that way and I feel bad... just wondering why he won't talk to me now.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:49 PM on Nov. 17, 2009

  • He may feel that he stepped over the line and has backed off quite properly since he has a girlfriend. Smile politely when you see him, talk of neutral things. It may be that you'll never get back on the playful basis, but that may be for the best if he felt that the line was being crossed.

    Answer by Bmat at 9:52 PM on Nov. 17, 2009

  • Just mention in passing that you enjoy "being friends" with him. If he doesn't hear the boundary then you can say more.

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:28 PM on Nov. 17, 2009

  • ok tho it was "back in the day" that you showed him your body, that right there stops any chance of being "good buddies". He has a girlfriend and its not ok for either of you to be flirting like this. its disrespectful to not only her, but to yourself as well. Let it go and make some female friends. how would you feel if you were his girlfriend?....prolly not too good, and doubt you would be ok with that friendship continuing. Plus, why are you doing this at work? can get you both fired, and even sued for harassment...

    Answer by Bearsjen at 12:25 AM on Nov. 18, 2009

  • I agree with Bmat. He's just trying to respect his girlfriend, and I think you should too, even if you do like the flirting. Which is obvious you do......

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:41 AM on Nov. 18, 2009

  • He is a man, he is visual. He can pull up that image of your teenage boobies better than if he had a picture right in front of him. Thats how men are. He is avoiding you because he is trying not to go there again since he has a girlfriend. Get the book For Women Only~ it explains all this.

    Answer by stickyfingers at 1:05 AM on Nov. 18, 2009

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