Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

My stepson was taken to the ER yesterday and my husband wasn't called!!

My husband and I are SO pissed right now! My stepson was getting ready for school and ran into a door frame and busted his mouth. They had to take him to the ER to get the bleeding to stop and he had to have a few stitches in his lip! When my husband called last night to talk to his son.. is when he found out about it! When he asked to talk to his mother, she said the reason she didn't tell us was because we didn't pay the last time he was at the Dr so it wasn't any of our business. And because of the amount of support we pay, we're not required to pay any health care but we always do pay half of whatever medical bill it is. He went to the Dr for a sinus infection and our half of his medicine was 7 dollars. This was just last Thursday and we haven't seen her yet to give it to her! Can she legally do this?? In the papers, it strictly states that if he is taken to the Dr , the other parent is to call.

Answer Question
 
PeytonsMom21109

Asked by PeytonsMom21109 at 9:51 AM on Nov. 18, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 4 (28 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • If they have joint custody, she HAS to call him when something like this exists. Joint custody means that both parents HAVE to be invoved in any medical decisions. NOW, if she has sole custody, she does not have to call him.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 9:56 AM on Nov. 18, 2009

  • The law can not do anything with a bitch, if they could they would be very busy.

    I would teach the boy how to call you guys or tell a doctor or a nurse to call when something happens.
    gammie

    Answer by gammie at 9:58 AM on Nov. 18, 2009

  • If the papers say that she is to call then she can be held in contempt. But you husband needs to know that his son is injured and how he can help. He is the childs father and has that right. I wish you luck, and I would be pissed too.
    coala

    Answer by coala at 10:03 AM on Nov. 18, 2009

  • How many moms on here do this to their kids dads? It happens. You can make it a fight or you can speak to her calmly about it. I would be upset but I would not let the child know it. He will shut down and not tell you anything anymore. This stuff makes me appreciate my ex. We are still friends and don't play games with our kids like so many do.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:20 AM on Nov. 18, 2009

  • Can she do that legally? NO. It's even addressed in the court order so definitely not. Do they have joint legal? Even if they don't have joint legal, I believe BM is still required INFORM BF of medical matters regarding his son (even if he doesn't have the legal right to help make decisions regarding them).

    BM can be held in contempt. She is being a bitch just to be a bitch. She should appreciate the money you contribute on top of the child support & be happy that the BF wants to be actively involved. Keep a record of this. Let her know that a judge has already decided that it IS BF's BUSINESS, so it is not up to her. EIther take her to court for contempt or keep a record & bring it up if you go back to court on another matter.
    BubbaLuva

    Answer by BubbaLuva at 11:36 AM on Nov. 18, 2009

  • I would think she HAS to call the father when it has to do with medical. Ours states that medical issues HAVE to be taken care of together with both parents.. this could really be used against her and i would let her know this and let her know you are recording this down, or if you have the money take her to court for contempt.. I cant believe some people just think this is none of the fathers business but it is THIER child as well!!
    stepmom2B29

    Answer by stepmom2B29 at 11:56 AM on Nov. 18, 2009

  • Well sadly I would love to think it is common sense to notify the other parent if a child is in the ER. But we live in an imperfect world. What she did was wrong...
    salexander

    Answer by salexander at 12:01 PM on Nov. 18, 2009

  • Sounds like this is about par for the course for the Selfish BM's out there. I'm not saying all BMs are this way, just the self-centered ones who really couldn't give a crap about their kids. To them it's all about power and control and the fact that they think that THEY are in charge. My stepdaughter's BM did this EXACT same thing. SD was in the the emergency room b/c she couldn't breathe (she has asthma) and my DH didn't find out until like 5 or 6 hours later and only b/c he called. BM was like, oh, by the way... your daughter's in the hospital. She had to stay at the hospital for 3 days. DH wouldn't have even known b/c BM wasn't planning on telling him. And how do you think SD would have felt if her dad didn't come to see her in the hospital? (she was 5 & 1/2 at the time)
    akm378mn

    Answer by akm378mn at 10:11 AM on Nov. 23, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN