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what would you do?

My mom hjas invited ds (3y/o) to two events next month. I would love for him to go to both, problem is they are on two consecutive days. I know most people would allow their child to stay overnight at a grandparents. Well my fathers got alzhiemers and my mothers an alcoholic. Because of this dh and I have said no overnights (mom really only drinks at night) she lives an hour away so it would be four hours of driving if I choose to take him then pick him up and repeat the next day. I just don't have the funds for that. My mother told ds about both events and ds is excited and I do want him to go but I don't know how to work it.my mom and sister both swear that they are in an alcoholic group and have stopped drinking but the last time I went over there I saw beer. It has been awhile though so I don't know if they telling the truth.... What should I do?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:07 PM on Nov. 18, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • Is is possible that you could spend that one night with your parents?
    chefronswife

    Answer by chefronswife at 12:09 PM on Nov. 18, 2009

  • Nope they won't have me.... Or at least my mother won't plus it would mean taking my 3month old dd and she def won't have that!!! She won't even look at or acknowlege my dd all because she is mad at me for taking away the privilage of having ds spend the night when oi realized how bad her drinking had gotton.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:26 PM on Nov. 18, 2009

  • There is no way in the world I'd let my son stay in those circumstances without me. It raises a red flag as far as I'm concerned that they don't want you there. I've had to deal with something similar as far as not being wanted while my son was at a relatives house and finally I found out why. I don't allow him to stay there without me anymore. I have a grandfather with Alzheimers and it is a huge thing for a caregiver to deal with not to mention a child added to that. Then there is the alcoholism. No way would I let him go. It doesn't even begin to seem safe and I don't know how you could do it and not worry yourself sick the whole time.
    wildflowers25

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 12:50 PM on Nov. 18, 2009

  • if she wont have you in the house why in the world would you let your son go?
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 12:55 PM on Nov. 18, 2009

  • dont trust them cuz even thought they're ur relatives , ur sds's wellbeing could be in danger .

    maybe theyre so happy bout happing ur ds over that they lied about the drinkin . besides they need a longeeeeer period of time to sow others that theyre sober , in case they r . to me , the most logical thing to do would b for you n ur dh to stay overnight at ur moms , so u r at peace n ur son doesnt miss the chance to attend both activities !
    happymom1988

    Answer by happymom1988 at 1:09 PM on Nov. 18, 2009

  • Nope, Sorry - I would not allow my DS to stay there under those circumstances. (Like is it your DD's fault that you Mom is an alcoholic!)

    Choose one activity and compromise for you Ds's benefit.
    chefronswife

    Answer by chefronswife at 2:12 PM on Nov. 18, 2009

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