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How do you new, SAHMs do it?

I have been home since July with my baby, I'm ok with that, except it wasn't by choice, I got laid off, but I'm happy that I do get to spend this time with her...its just that lately I have been feeling really cut off from the world. My job was somewhat of an outlet, to adults, and to just being away from home and being useful to myself and not just to my family. Now my days are so boring other than the times I'm chasing her or playing with her or cleaning the house. How do you deal with this? She is 8 1/2 months now and getting more interactive but her attention span is only so long, we run out of things to do and she does like to go off on her own and explore too. So I'm just feeling cut off from the outside world...I am trying to avoid slipping into depression like I hear can happen in this situation.

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Asked by Anonymous at 2:20 PM on Nov. 18, 2009 in Health

Answers (10)
  • Aww, I feel your pain hon. My DD is 28 months and I think I didn't stop feeling the way you've described until a few months ago. It really is very difficult to be a SAHM. You feel so isolated. Its especially difficult if you don't have any mommy friends. My advice would be to get out there and meet some other mommas and have some playdates. Don't get down on yourself, call someone and just chat for a few minutes. Maybe get a gym membership. That was what I did b/c it gave me an hour break from the kiddo to have some semi-adult time. At least I was able to blow off some steam by running on the elliptical. To make it worse, my husband works nights, so I get little to no help and I certainly can't plan a night out w/ the girls b/c he is always at work :-( So, in your case, if the hubbs is willing to watch the kiddos for a few hours at night, maybe you can join a book club or have a happy hour w/ the girls. GL momma!

    Answer by kenzie07 at 2:30 PM on Nov. 18, 2009

  • Find a local moms group. Do playdates, even though she is still little it will get her around other kids and you out of the house and around mommies.

    Answer by collinsmommy_06 at 2:33 PM on Nov. 18, 2009

  • I know exactly how you feel, my son is 8 months old too. I have only been home since I was 8 months pregnant with him. I was forced to quit work because I was high risk. So we decided that we can make it without my money and I will stay home with him until he starts preschool and then I will go back to doing hair. I really miss talking to people, I really miss my regular customers and the girls I worked with. I also feel cut off from the world. I never talk to anyone anymore just family, or an old friend at the store or something. it can be hard, but I try to keep myself busy and when I feel like I need "grown up talk" I get on Cafemom I think it alone helps me a ton.
    Add me as a friend if you want, I'm always around to chat.

    Answer by BlainesMommy09 at 2:36 PM on Nov. 18, 2009

  • I know how you feel. I've been at home since just before my first was born. I was doctor ordered to quit my job then, we did the math and realized it would cost us money for me to work. It was hard for a long time and caused strain with me and DH. After work he would be too tired to help with anything so I was and am of course on call 24 hours a day. I would suggest trying to make some mom friends if at all possible. Don't do all your errands in one day and try to get some excersize in. Even if that means just walking your daughter around the neighborhood on a nice day or walking in the mall. The key is to find some way to get out of the house and have some adult time. Good luck.

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 2:37 PM on Nov. 18, 2009

  • check out your local public library, most have story times. The last one that I went to ended up being a great place to meet moms, we started a weekly playgoup and also alot of times went to the park for a picnic lunch after story time. Keep going because not all moms go every week and sometimes there may not be anyone there that you connect with and the next SAHM's looking to connect with others.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:40 PM on Nov. 18, 2009

  • I think this is the hardest part of being a SAHM, especially to an infant. I would take my son for a walk and sometimes we would go to the park and sit and swing (on the big swing). It did seem to help, even if the only time I talked with anyone was to say Hi as they were walking by. I also found the library to be a good place to meet with other SAHM's.. Your librarian may know of others looking to connect with other SAHM's. There are a few branches of our library and I went to a few different ones until I found one that seemed to have a friendly group of moms that would talk and invite you to join in.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:49 PM on Nov. 18, 2009

  • Oh I know how you feel!!! I only work PT and I have summers off!! Sounds great doesn't it?? But, OMG I am so ready to get back to work and talk to adults!! And I work in High School... Even those kids are like adults when it comes to conversation!! LOL

    I used to take the kids to the play area in the Mall to have interaction with other adults!! Library is a good call. Also try to see if any local churches have play groups - you don't have to be a member of the church. That way your child socializes and you meet & talk to other Moms!! Hang in there, sooner then you know it you will be dropping her off at preschool and enter into yet another phase!! But, know that you're not alone!! ;o)


    Answer by Morgain at 4:02 PM on Nov. 18, 2009

  • How are you able to connect when it seems like everyone is so standoffish? I try to make small talk with people and get the cold shoulder. It seems like everywhere I go to try to meet people--library, ymca all are the same.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:15 PM on Nov. 18, 2009

  • Get a part time job or do some volunteer work; don't let your resume turn to dust.

    Answer by rkoloms at 8:03 PM on Nov. 18, 2009

  • My DD is 8 1/2 months old too! I've been a SAHM for 2 years now. There are days when I feel the same way you do, but I recently started working from home. I absolutely LOVE what I do. The best part is that I get to make money and be with my two little ones. I really enjoy doing what I do. I've made so many Mommy friends along the way. I also make sure to get some Mommy time every once in a while. Every Mommy needs this. I go get my nails, and eyebrows done every couple of weeks to pamper myself. I suggest you go for walks if the weather is descent. My kids love going for walks It relaxes all of us. Feel free to message me if you ever want to chat!
    Best Wishes!!

    Helping Moms Work from Home!

    Answer by mommy2joeynabby at 4:07 AM on Nov. 19, 2009

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