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Is anyone else out there in a dull and mediocre marriage?

We are nice to eachother and respect eachother, but are more like roommates. There is little or no affection, caressing, sex. Every day is hi and bye and what's for dinner and that's basically it.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:06 PM on Nov. 18, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • I feel that way too... he comes home plays his game i cook, he washes the kids while i clean up, i put them to bed then its no talking or small talk love you love you too hunny.......while we do diff. things for a while... like him playing his game ..but i want him to in a weird way so he leaves me alone....then we lay down and he thinks waving his thing at me so maybe just maybe ill say oh yeah lets do it u just showed me ur penis!! and if i don't act interested he rolls over and its same thing next day :) yay......
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:17 PM on Nov. 18, 2009

  • I wish. All we hardly ever do is fight and sadly enough I enjoy it most of the time when he's just not around.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:20 PM on Nov. 18, 2009

  • The one thing most marriages lack is COMMUNICATION. I have learned something very valuable from my husband, don't ever assume you know what he is thinking or what his reasons for anything are...its much better to find the right time and to ask him. Tell him how you are feeling. Do you have a relationship where you CAN talk to each other? You have to try and find/remember why you both fell in love to begin with. But first you should try to talk to him, its easy to fall into a rut and get into a mundain routine..especially with children. And children can sense things too so its important to provide them with a loving environment. Have you tried talking to him about how you feel yet?
    HayleyGM

    Answer by HayleyGM at 3:36 PM on Nov. 18, 2009

  • Yes, I've tried to talk about it, but he isn't a very good communicator. I used to try so hard to "fix"our marriage, but it's been 14 years, and we have fallen into a rut. Now with a 15 month old. I really don't have the energy or desire to try and "fix" it anymore. I am just going with the flow, but it's pretty sad.
    Eliza247

    Answer by Eliza247 at 3:40 PM on Nov. 18, 2009

  • Yes, I understand what you're going through completely.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:37 PM on Nov. 18, 2009

  • I tell my adult children that if you don't like something in life then make a change. Do something, even something small to change things. Tell him "hi" naked or something. Just do something to make a change in your life. He'll go along.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 4:42 PM on Nov. 18, 2009

  • I was sitting here reading the responses and I laughed. I realize that it is not really something that I should be laughing at but I was just in that situation a little while ago myself. It got so bad that there was no communication. I found that I had to move on. I am now in a relationship with someone where we both want the relationship and we do whatever it takes to make sure that we help to meet each other's needs. I am not suggesting that you move on. I am simply saying that the two of you have to want it.
    Bells1158

    Answer by Bells1158 at 5:11 PM on Nov. 18, 2009

  • Heyy there Im going to give you my advice...
    TALk tell him how you feel & that it hurts you to see you two this way remember the reasons you fell in love with him in the first place try to find that spark again talk to each other about what you 2 can do to make HOME a better, nicer & loving place to be at be thankful you have him by your side even if sometimes you want to strangle him I hope this helps a little if you do this send me a message letting me know what happends Id love to know take care & best of luck to you!
    doms_mommy

    Answer by doms_mommy at 11:32 PM on Nov. 19, 2009

  • Lol, I;ve been reading lots of questions and answers and am like blah!
    We have lots of communication, gist about everything under the sun. We've got good friendship but I don't love him like i used to. Sex for me is just cos am feeling horny and not because he turns me on.
    It's this way cos he hurt me continuously for three years with his lies and cheating. now i don't know if am bitter or just out of love. Prayer and spirituality helps me though
    labrax

    Answer by labrax at 2:13 PM on Nov. 20, 2009

  • Hi, thanks for your answer and advice. Sigh..... I tried on a couple of occasions to talk and let him know how I'm feeling, but he turns things around and says that I'm so negative cause I'm only focusing on negative stuff. When I tell him I want to talk more he says what is there to talk about? He thinks our marriage is great and there is nothing to complain about and that I should just be happy. He just doesn't get it. There is no affection and whenever e does give me a peck it feels so prickly and fake. I hate when he tells me Ï love you"because I honestly don't feel loved by him. I think he's in denial. I'afraid my situation is too far gone. I'm afraid I'm stuck in this and maybe I should learn to find happiness and live in denial like he is.
    And pray hard for happiness....
    Eliza247

    Answer by Eliza247 at 2:59 PM on Mar. 16, 2010

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