Changes in my body have changed my feelings about sex

I used to think I was really hot (I know...ego) but since I had my son (10 months now) my body just hasn't bounced back like I hoped it would. My breasts have always been smaller than I liked, but now they're deflated looking and I have a big pooch.

My husband doesn't care one bit, but I do. It makes it hard for me to want to have sex because I don't feel attractive. Whenever we are about to, I just cant get into it if he looks at my stomach or tries to touch my breasts. I know I need to get over it but how? Anybody else go through this?

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Asked by Christina2135 at 5:35 PM on Nov. 18, 2009 in Relationships

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I have to say that sometimes after a baby, you never get back that body you had no matter if you exercise 24 hrs a day...its not possible becase the skin stretched and cant go back. BUT BUT BUT, rather than tryiing to change your body, look inside you to try to learn to love it how it is now. I think about the fact that I grew a person, a miracle, my body is how it is because i gave life to another being, and that right there makes me feel sexy. It is hard I know(hugs) but you are lucky as hubby loves you for you, not a perfect body...you see hon, to him, you are perfect how you are! work out, eat well...and learn to love you and one day you will see what he sees. good luck and hang in there.

Answer by Bearsjen at 8:48 PM on Nov. 18, 2009
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Only all the time. When I had my first, my breasts ballooned out, I went up two sizes. Then after he was born, I had two deflated balloons. My stomach stayed rounded, not horribly so but I had a hard time fitting into prebaby clothes. Some I had to get rid of. With my second baby, it's been a lot worse. My breasts are the same but my stomach and thighs have not gone down nearly as much as they did the first time. There are no gyms here and the weather is typically not good enough to go walking anymore. When my husband touches my stomach any desire I had just dies. Although I don't know how to get over this, I wanted to let you know you're not alone.

Answer by Anonymous at 5:47 PM on Nov. 18, 2009

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I have the same problem. :( i feel for ya, believe me.

Answer by Hali_Taylor at 5:54 PM on Nov. 18, 2009
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Many of us have lost confidence in our bodies. Our men really don't care but I hear ya on it bothers you. I gained a lot of weight then lost some then old age caused things to droop. What i do to take care of SO's needs and fully my own need to keep things to myself is to wear clothing that makes it easy for him to access but I never take off my clothes. He's never cared. He gets what he wants and I keep my dignity! I wear a sexy bra to keep those puppies uplifted but I don't remove the bra. If he wants to get too them he can push the cup down. I also wear short skirts (around the house only, not in pubic) without panties. It's all good and everyone remains happy

Answer by admckenzie at 6:00 PM on Nov. 18, 2009
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Your body isn't going to suddenly be perfect over time. You're going to have to excersise to get that body back to the shape it was in, or better shape then it was in. Don't kid yourself and believe that one day you'll look in the mirror and you'll have everything back. Excersise. You're not alone though. I'm in the same position. It was pregnancy itself that made sex unattractive for me, but I feel like a flabby blob now that I've had my daughter. (Two weeks ago)

Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 6:02 PM on Nov. 18, 2009
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omg girl im there to i have to have the lights off its so imbarrasing heres what i did i went to one of those sex stores and bought a dress up outfit i now have tons he can still touch he just cant see and he thinks its just as sexy and it holds the girls up to oh and they sell them in the underwear aisle to

Answer by Anonymous at 6:18 PM on Nov. 18, 2009

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Something that helps me is try doggie style. It keeps your trouble spots being seen to a min and should give both of you the satifaction you need.

Answer by Shannon3390 at 7:17 PM on Nov. 18, 2009
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Yeah...and my kids are 2years and 5 months. After having my 2 year old...my body bounced back, and i was still hott, or so I liked to think lol....but after having my son...i'm just yucky. I've got stretch marks, love handles...my boobs are smaller than they were before....and i'm more self conscious now...i leave my shirt on...leave the lights off and cover up with a blanket...

Answer by michellelee3708 at 8:47 PM on Nov. 18, 2009
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Bearsjen you are so right ...

Answer by Momdenoe at 9:21 PM on Nov. 18, 2009
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