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My daughter was held against her will & sexual assualt in college what would you do?

My daughter 18 was in her dorm room w/acquaintance. 2 guys they "followed" her in her room.Was not invited in.
One guy tried to hold her down and try to put handicuffs on her. One guy pushed her cell phone away from her as she was trying to reach for it to call for help. They pulled down her clothing and fondle her . She started crying and yelling "stop" They stopped and left the room. She pressed charges against them As I understand one guy age 21 dad came to pick him up and went home. The other guy 19 is still around. They can not go on campus w/o an escort. This is not the first time one of the guys tried to assualt a female.
We live in the state of Virginia so it is not considered rape.
They are going to court but I'm scared for my daughter and I don't know what questions to ask anyone in campus or the police. My daughter is 6 to 7 hrs away.
Legal aspest what would you do?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:12 PM on Nov. 18, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (9)
  • She is grown. She is the one who needs to do something about it. JMO
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 7:16 PM on Nov. 18, 2009

  • I know that my first instinct would be to go and get her. BUT what does SHE want to do? And if this has already been a couple of days ago, how is she feeling now? Can she buddy up every where she goes?
    kjrn79

    Answer by kjrn79 at 7:19 PM on Nov. 18, 2009

  • My heart breaks for your daughter and u as her mom how devestating I can't say what I would do until I would be in your situation I just send u some hugs and support!!!!
    mom2fivekids579

    Answer by mom2fivekids579 at 7:23 PM on Nov. 18, 2009

  • SUPPORT HER in the decisions she makes. If she decideds to prosecute as much as possible kudos to her!! If she decides not to then she will need support, remember it is about your DD feeling she has dealt with this and done what she needed to do. Also talk with her listen to her and let her cry on your "shoulder."
    PsychMommie

    Answer by PsychMommie at 8:17 PM on Nov. 18, 2009

  • I'd go to her. Spend some time with her and talk to her. Find out what she wants to do and let her know that you support her no matter what she decides. She could transfer to another school, or stay where she is. Make sure she knows that most schools have a system where she can be escorted by campus security if she has to travel to or from classes at night or if she is worried for any reason. Ask the police what she can do in terms of pressing charges and ask the school what they can do to protect her and other girls from future attacks.

    Most importantly, talk to her and make sure she knows that she can count on you. I disagree with Louise, I don't think that there is an age when a woman can be sexually assaulted and shouldn't be able to go to her mother for help.
    beckcorc

    Answer by beckcorc at 8:19 PM on Nov. 18, 2009

  • I'd be there with her, hire a lawyer and make a LOT of NOISE.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 9:07 PM on Nov. 18, 2009

  • transfer schools?
    mirit.rose

    Answer by mirit.rose at 12:40 AM on Nov. 19, 2009

  • Wow, louise, got compassion? Obviously, the "grown" woman has already done a lot, and op wants to help.

    What is the school doing about it? Are the boys suspended (uh, they should be) What are they doing to ensure that other women are protected on campus. What kind of escort?

    Just be there for your daughter. You're doing all you can. You're worried about her safety. Would she feel safer moving to a different dorm? That's all I can think of.
    apexmommy

    Answer by apexmommy at 2:23 AM on Nov. 19, 2009

  • It takes alot of courage for a young college girl to go through this and remain in the school. i knew of one girl who had some naked pictures of her stolen from her room and she was being blackmailed for sex.. in exchange for getting them back. She didn't give in, she fought them.. they plastered the pictures all over campus.. she dealt with it and so did the school... she graduated from there 4 years later. She had only been at the school months she never told her mother or anyone outside of the college. It was her decision she dealt with it. . i'll always admire her courage. Your daughter has choices to make... your job is to help her and support her in whatever she needs and wants to do about it.
    Aasiyah

    Answer by Aasiyah at 7:40 PM on Nov. 19, 2009

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