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Need advice on a preschooler

Okay last April my husbands grandfather pasted away. . We never lied to her about death I explained it and why he past. She never cried and seemed to understand complete, my Daughter is very smart and understands things a 4 year old shouldn't, that's why I didn't lie about death, so you know. Every since then she talks about death alot. I figured it would pass. Well they other night she had a nightmare that I died, the fear in her eye's broke my heart, any tips on how i can put the subject of death to rest. i do not want her to dream like that again.

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Asked by T.W. at 9:13 PM on Nov. 18, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (4)
  • I would look for a childrens book that deals with death that you can read with her. On the one hand you don't want to dwell on death but she is obviously thinking about it a lot so you need to address it somehow. If she is worried about you dying let her know that everyone dies one day but you won't die for a long, long time and that she doesn't have to worry about it now. Do you believe in heaven, or an after life? Maybe talk to her about how Grandpa is still with you in spirit and you can call be together again one day in heaven, or something along those lines to lessen the finality of death.

    Answer by MaryMW at 10:01 PM on Nov. 18, 2009

  • It takes a while. Ever since my dad died my kids have been afraid for me since I have diabetes like grandpa and I am sick alot. My daughter has fears and follows me a lot and she is 10. She sometimes will climb in bed with me. I think that time will help, just be patient. :) Hugs. Sorry for your loss. Oh, and it has been two years for us and it is getting better.

    Answer by SusieD250 at 1:41 AM on Nov. 19, 2009

  • I'm sorry for your loss. I know it is difficult. We lost a fish about 2 years ago and my youngest became death obsessed. Everything was dead or dying. And he mentioned that the guppy died constantly. It was how he processed it. My FIL died this Aug. and it has been different. He knows that his Saba is gone but you can tell that this is different than losing a fish. A book that has been very helpful for us is The Tenth Good Thing About Barney by Judith Viorst. It is basically about pet loss, but it is a lot more. Even a very smart 4 yr old is still very young - they understand but they don't. We just keep emphasizing that it is ok to be sad and that Saba loved him very much and he carries that love in his heart, so it is always with him.


    Answer by balagan_imma at 10:15 AM on Nov. 19, 2009

  • Thank you all for your advice and Happy Holiday's.

    Answer by T.W. at 6:16 PM on Nov. 24, 2009

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