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Mother Daughter relationship. kinda strange I guess

Okay growing up it was always me and my Mom.. No one else! She was extremely needy with me. I was always her support. we went through alot of bad things and in a lot of situations I was the mother figure from a very young age. We struggled with Money and her abusive relationships, we always managed. I was never allowed to go anywhere or do anything unless she was by my side. She clung to me. I got used to it. Even when I became an adult and got a job she was always stopping by and calling me. even though I lived with her. I was super attached to her too only because I didnt know any better. When I met my husband she refused to let me go to his place cause Id be gone for to long. I was 20 y/o. WEll Now im 9 months pregnant and she has a new boyfriend and she never wants to be around anymore. I feel like im losing all my support and everything ive ever known. I have my DH but its just not the same comfort feeling.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:17 AM on Nov. 19, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • It’s so much harder to handle with me being an emotional wreck because im 9 months pregnant. I don’t say anything to her about it. I let her go about her business and her life with this man but its really bothering me inside that my emotional support and stability that Ive always known isn’t there anymore. I really don’t know how to deal with it. I feel like im alone and confused. What should I do? Talk to her about it?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:17 AM on Nov. 19, 2009

  • she might just be prepping herself for the future.
    meaning she knows how much time a new baby will take up
    she needs to distance herself so you can be a mommy to your baby

    My mom was like that for a long time, she always says that we grew up together, kind of did she had me at 15 and like you described, we lived a rough life and had a lot of misfortunes but we got thru it being co-dependent on each other.
    if you and your mom are so close you should just call her and have her over
    I just had my baby a week ago and the last couple days of my pregnancy I went over to my moms and laid in bed with her and talked.
    DomoniqueWS

    Answer by DomoniqueWS at 1:53 AM on Nov. 19, 2009

  • If you don't talk to her about this, she is likely to think that you don't want her around any more; and since she needs someone on whom she can depend, she has found a guy to fulfill that need in her life. I think it quite possible that if you would tell her you need her right now, she would be willing to help you out. Sometimes, when people know each other really well, we tend to assume that we know everything. The truth is that some things need to be plainly and distinctly said so that everyone is clear about the kind of relationship everybody wants to have. There are some people who can't have but one good friend at a time, but it is very possible to learn to have several. Maybe that's what your mom needs help with right now. I think it is certainly worth a try, and if she is unable to do both, then at least you will know that and you can be at peace about the matter.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 7:32 AM on Nov. 19, 2009

  • Of course talk to her about it. She would want you to.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 9:14 AM on Nov. 19, 2009

  • I'd say we had the same mom but mine is dead now. I missed opportunities for college, trips to Europe and other great things in my life bc she wouldn't let me go. When I got married and pregnant and needed her she started dating and turned her back on me.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:17 AM on Nov. 19, 2009

  • Yes....talk to her about it. She may be so involved with this new bf right now that she doesn't realize how she is neglecting you and your needs. She is your mother, you have always been very close, you should be albe to talk to her. I say call her, NOW, tell her you need her.
    robyann

    Answer by robyann at 10:13 AM on Nov. 19, 2009

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