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for those of you with more than one child

What do you think is a good separation in age? Do you like the distance between your children or would you do something differently? What were the differences in pregnancy? Was it hard because you had another one you had to take care of? What would you recommend now that you've been there done that?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 4:02 AM on Nov. 19, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (16)
  • i have an 8 and a 7 year old and then a 2 and a 14 month old...i wish i wouldnt have separeted the two oldest and the two youngest. i always wanted to go about 2 years in between kids

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:04 AM on Nov. 19, 2009

  • I have a DS (almost 2.5) and a DD (almost 1.5), they are 13 months 3 days apart. We also have another daughter (my husband's from a previous marriage) who is 7...The two younger ones are really really close, but the 7 year old and the younger ones aren't close...As a matter of fact, my DD will copy and repeat ANYTHING my son does... He has taught her so many words and different "tasks" (like crawling, coloring, playing with balls,etc, and he's working on helping her walk-the muscle in her legs isn't built)..I'm also 26 weeks pregnant again. Yes, it's tough, but I get through. And I know that the kids will be close (atleast til the teen years! lol). It's actually a lot easier than I thought it would be (I also have extremely well behaved children for their ages-they clean up after themselves, play quietly, etc).

    Answer by laird6372 at 5:14 AM on Nov. 19, 2009

  • There are 2 1/2 years between my first and second, and between my second and third (unplanned). It was a good space between them because as I was just about done potty-training, another baby would come along requiring diapers and the crib. I can't imagine having 2 in diapers at the same time or needing 2 cribs or placing the older sibling in a bed before they are old enough. On the other hand, I think if there are too many years apart then they may feel more like an aunt or uncle to their younger sibling instead of a brother or sister. That's the way it was for my mom who has a sister 11 years older than she.
    I don't 'wish' I had them different spaces apart, but 3 or 4 years between them would have been good, too.

    Answer by PrydferthMenyw at 7:41 AM on Nov. 19, 2009

  • my kids are 11, 5, and 4. It was hard when the youngest was born because the two younger ones were exactly 1 yr 5 months apart, but now that they are a little older they are really close. But at the same time when my middle son was born my oldest could help out a lot and he really enjoyed being the big brother. I don't wish anything diffrent because then they wouldn't be my boys.

    Answer by Juggalette0327 at 8:03 AM on Nov. 19, 2009

  • My kids are 12, 9, 8, 12 months and I'm 7 weeks pregnant. The 1st and 2nd are 2 yrs 4 months apart which I think is just about perfect - close enough to be "friends" but far enough apart to have their own space. The 2nd and 3rd are 18 months apart and they're close now, but it was really hard when they were young, as it will be when my 5th is born. Having them REALLY close (less than 2 years) is no guarantee they will be close! Two of my brothers were 1 year apart and it created an AWFUL rivalry between them until they were in college and each realized that they had their own strengths, but being so close they had always been on the same soccer team, the same baseball team, some of the same highschool classes (the younger one was a year ahead in math, so math and electives)
    I think 2-3 years is about perfect. I would NOT recommend the wide space like my 8 year gap - it's only due to my 2nd marriage.

    Answer by missanc at 9:06 AM on Nov. 19, 2009

  • Mine will be 14 months apart, it's going to be hard, but there will be benefits as well, I wish I could had waited till my daughter was 2, God had other plans.

    Answer by MommaRox4683 at 9:11 AM on Nov. 19, 2009

  • My kids are all approx 2 years apart (26 months between one and two, thirty months between 2 and 3.) That's just kind of how it worked out. The only real difficulty was because I had a rough pregnancy with number two, I was on bedrest for quite awhile and was not allowed to lift my toddler. That was really hard.. but it's not the kind of thing that you can plan for. Besides my high risk pregnancy with number two I liked the two year gap.

    Answer by Freela at 9:33 AM on Nov. 19, 2009

  • I think the perfect seperation would be about 3 years. My mom had all 4 of us all 3 years apart. My kids aren't spaced like that. My two oldest are 18 months apart, and that was hard. Then between my 2nd and 3rd there is 5 years, and 5 years between my 3rd and 4th....this seemed easier, because as one was starting school, I had another! lol

    Answer by robyann at 9:33 AM on Nov. 19, 2009

  • I wish I didn't have the separations that I do. There are 7 years between the births of my 3 living children. There would not be that much if not for our losses.

    Answer by littleredpony at 10:35 AM on Nov. 19, 2009

  • Mine girls are 15 months apart (aged 14 months and 2 1/2 now). I love it!!!!!! I mean, there are some very difficult things about it... the difficulty ebbs and flows. The things I have really enjoyed are: my older never showed any jealousy and I don't think she even remembers a time without little sis; they're getting close and I think will just get closer and closer as the little one learns to do more things; the get to share all their toys, etc.; and we get to get all the rough stuff like diapers and sleep issues and things out of the way. All this was probably helped by the fact that my older dd is mature for her age, potty trained at 19 months, and is very verbal, so it never felt like 2 babies. They will probably only be one year apart in school. The hard things: I have either been nursing or pregnant without a break for over 3 years; sometimes things get a bit... well, crazy. You can imagine. I wouldn't change a thing

    Answer by EmilySusan at 10:47 AM on Nov. 19, 2009

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