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How will you do it?

Mothers of sons, how will you perform your duties or responsibilities as a MIL? Will you be doing what you wanted your MIL to do? of will you concede to your DIL and do as she wishes? or will you ultimately tell yourself " he's my son, I'll do what he wants-he hasn't told me otherwise" knowing of course he won't. Your husband didn't!

 
jewjewbee

Asked by jewjewbee at 9:52 AM on Nov. 19, 2009 in Relationships

Level 35 (76,199 Credits)
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Answers (11)
  • Fortunately, I had a wonderful relationship with my MIL. And plan to be the same with my two sons and their future wives. I will be supportive, helpful, loving and not too overbearing!
    mamaada

    Answer by mamaada at 9:54 AM on Nov. 19, 2009

  • Just curious, one of my bestest friends now has 2 DIL's and even though she is a wonderful woman she is literally the MIL from hell. I tell her that all the time, that she is ridiculous and her frequent response is that "those are her boys, she'll do what she wants" or even one time she told her first DIL " over my dead body" regarding a house issue. It's literally like Judy has become a completely different person after her boys got married in the way she treats these DIL's.
    jewjewbee

    Answer by jewjewbee at 9:54 AM on Nov. 19, 2009

  • My goal is to be a mil like my mom was and like my grandma is: they accept their sons and daughters in laws as if they were their own children. They welcome them with open arms and hearts, and never treat them any differently than they would their own child. That is what I hope to be like. Although, I must confess that when I saw a little girl try to hold my 8 yr old son's hand, I wanted to slap her and tell her to keep her hands to herself, so....we'll have to see if I can actually pull off what I want to be like. lol
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 9:55 AM on Nov. 19, 2009

  • I have one friend that recently had a baby boy and she was given a little blue hat that morphs into a blue handkerchief to give to his future bride to wear at the wedding. (something blue) and as I was telling Shelly how sweet that was, her response was " aint no heffer gettin his baby bonnet, not ever".
    and i thought-ohmygos-another MIL from hell and the baby is just born!
    jewjewbee

    Answer by jewjewbee at 9:59 AM on Nov. 19, 2009

  • I know how to be the most wonderful MIL in the world, because I know exactly what NOT to do. Thanks to my own MIL.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:09 AM on Nov. 19, 2009

  • I adore my MIL. I think she is nuttier than a fruit cake, but everything she does is with love and the best of intentions. She took me into her heart, loved my son from day one, had already taken in my DH's adopted son. She would be here on the first plane if we needed her (and it has happened) and out of here as soon as we didn't. She really does her best to ride the line of being here and not over welming. I hope I'll be as good to my son's partners.
    littleredpony

    Answer by littleredpony at 10:26 AM on Nov. 19, 2009

  • My son's live-in ex wife won't let him have anything to do with his family but if she did I probably would ignore her. I have no respect for her.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:45 AM on Nov. 19, 2009

  • This is a funny question! But a good one.

    I have a daughter, plan on welcoming whoever she loves as much as i can. Although, if he is an asshole to my girl, i will tell him to his face...lol!
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 11:10 AM on Nov. 19, 2009

  • I'm a mother of four sons...I have one daughter in law and she's great. I love her and respect thier marriage. Therefore I do not interfere. I watch my grandchildren when I want to watch them and spoil them how I want to spoil them....if my DIL and I have an issue, we work it out like two grown women...but so far (knock on wood) we get along great...
    For my other three sons, I wish they would find someone like my DIL but if not, I'll deal with it gracefully and handle her appropriately.
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 12:08 PM on Nov. 19, 2009

  • This is how I want to be when my boys are married, I want to be a MIL that has an open respectful relationship with not only my sons but their wives as well. And I just think that people treat you how you treat them. And when my boys have children of their own, before I jump in and say "This is what I did..." How about wording it like "Maybe what I did with [insert name here] would help..... Or a more personalized version." Becuase my MIL has wonder advice, it just drives me insane with the delivery. lol.
    Gypsy-Eyed-Mom

    Answer by Gypsy-Eyed-Mom at 12:44 PM on Nov. 19, 2009

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