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what do you think of moms going out a lot? am i just being judgmental?

i have a really hard time not thinking it is BAD that my sister goes out like 2 nites a week and leaves her son with one of his grandparents or another friend/relative. let's please not be too bashy here but do others feel the same as me and worry about the babies? my sister has been doing this since her son was just a couple wks old and now he's 5 mnths. when she was still pregnant, she wrote on her myspace something like "i cant wait until july cuz it's going to be craaaaazy!" and i was like "no kel you are going to be so busy taking care of your 2 wk old baby then! lol!" but i was wroong

am i just being judgmental? or jealous? i know it's a bit of both. i didn't have a nite away from my son until he was 2 and that was for work. but i also just can't imagine being away from my son that much! especially when he was less than 6 mos old.

feel free to say that i just need to mind my own and stop being so judgmental.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:09 AM on Nov. 19, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

Answers (32)
  • I cant imagine leaving my child 2 nights every week to go hangout. Just like you I don't know if its jealousy or what but when I hear about that it makes me wonder......
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:14 AM on Nov. 19, 2009

  • even if i do have a night away from my son its not to go craazyy. I sometimes let him visit my grandparents in Tn and stay for a week. I carry on as usual. I've never really gone and had a wild time since i've had him. Some people just aren't ready for kids and still want to be teens
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 10:15 AM on Nov. 19, 2009

  • I do think that often is a little much. But from the time my oldest was 6 months he would spend weeks with my Dad. Untill school started I would drive him up to my Dad's 3 times a year to visit for close to a month. It broke my heart to leave him, but it was so good for all of us. Granted I used my time for working extra hours and then going out. Now that he is 14 he is still very close to my Dad. He loves all my kids but is closest to him.

    I guess weather or not it is too much there is not much you can do if people keep taking him for her. Sounds like she is too busy trying to stay a kid instead of raising one.
    littleredpony

    Answer by littleredpony at 10:16 AM on Nov. 19, 2009

  • I think it's terrible. Your sister needs to grow up and be a Mother. I do feel every Mom needs a night out once in a while not every week.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:17 AM on Nov. 19, 2009

  • I've never been a partier, so to me, it seems like a lot. But I do know people that go out a couple of times a week, and their kids are always healthy, well taken care of, and left in good hands when they do go out. So, I guess it really just depends on the person.
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 10:17 AM on Nov. 19, 2009

  • I know several people who let their kids stay with one grandparent or another one or two nights every week (for kid/grandparent bonding, getting mommy/daddy time, going out, working, etc.). As long as the baby's being taken care of (all the time, not just when she goes out), I don't see a problem, personally. I wouldn't do it, but I'm a homebody anyway (and sometimes I think I'm too attached to my kids). *shrug*
    DragonRiderMD

    Answer by DragonRiderMD at 10:24 AM on Nov. 19, 2009

  • I use to think the same way am a young mom and i had friends with kids that whent out and left their kids with mom or their mother inlaws and i always thought, i cant do that OMG what if something happends and am not their but i also felt a little jelous cause i wanted to go out and have fun and not worry well my dd just turned 1 and she loves grama and gets so happy when she sees them on fridays and she cryes bloody murder when we have to go so i started leaving her with them overnight and i dint have anything to do soo i called up some friends and whent out and then i realized how great it felt that she was in good hands and she wasnt missing me because she was happy so i decided that it wasnt being a bad mom but a better one that i could give her some room to grow and at the same time keep my sanity and actually get to look forward to seeing her sat. morning and i felt like i was a Me besides just mommy and dear.
    nanysmommy

    Answer by nanysmommy at 10:25 AM on Nov. 19, 2009

  • No that's horrible. Some people should keep their legs closed. if they're not willing to live with the consequenses and handle a baby then they shouldnt even be having sex! Ugh, how old is your sister? It sucks because I have a lot of friends that do that. I used to be a partier, but my son is the best thing that's ever happened to me, and I'd rather sit at home and take care of my kid then be like the rest of my old friends that always write on their facebook "i'm so hungover" "omg my baby wont stop crying and I'm so tired" well...maybe you shouldnt have gone to bed at 3am HUH!?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:31 AM on Nov. 19, 2009

  • There is nothing wrong with going out! as long as the baby is taken care of i dont see a problem with it! but than again i dont get out cuz im really anal about who watches my kids! it really sucks cuz me an hubby havent been out in nub a year but than again i was prego lol!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:49 AM on Nov. 19, 2009

  • i'm OP. my sister is 20. at her age i was going out a lot too but since i've had my son i haven't gone out at all. well since before i got pregnant actually. i have had a drink here and there at home. i do miss going out a bit but i just hope that in 10 years when my kids are a bit older i can start going a bit! ;) i honestly can't say whether he is taken care of well or not. i know when my mom watches him, he is very well taken care of. his other 2 grandmas (baby's daddy's mom and baby's daddy's stepmom) i don't know at all but have no reason to think they wouldn't take good care of him. my mom doesn't watch him much anymore because she moved about 2 months ago and now lives 2.5 hours from my sister. the thing is grandmas are never going to say no to watching their grandbaby! haha. i know my mom and mil would love to watch our son but they lived 7 hours away until recently and now 2 hours away so it's just hard.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:56 AM on Nov. 19, 2009

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