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What are good rewards for my 3 1/2 yr old?

I bought a chart for my 3 1/2 yr old and put things on it like: Whining, Listening, Potty, Eating and Talking Back. If she does the things asked/not asked to do (all day), she gets a smiley sticker. I haven't decided on how many she should get in order to get a reward/prize..or what the reward/prize should be. Any ideas?

Answer Question

Asked by Kaydens_mommy06 at 11:21 AM on Nov. 19, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 1 (-8 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • rewards can be whatever she likes to do.........baking cookies with you, out for ice cream, movie night, picnic, chuck e cheese. anything that she really enjoys so she'll be motivated. ;)

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:28 AM on Nov. 19, 2009

  • Personally, I think she is a little young for that.

     I do not believe in the reward system. Or allowances. The things people reward or give allowances for are things the kid should be doing anyways as part of the family .


    Answer by louise2 at 11:32 AM on Nov. 19, 2009

  • As far as the rewards go, she is a very smart child, but has a speach delay. She was born at 31 weeks, and weighed only 1lb 14oz. It's hard for her to tell me what she likes to do. And I don't want to reward her with spending time with me..I already spend time with her.

    The reason I have the chart is because nothing else has worked. Time-out, spanking, raising my voice. None of it has worked. So, when I spoke with her doctor, he suggested the chart. The whining is what is the worst. If she doesn't get her way and whines, I send her to the bathroom, or her room until she stops.


    Answer by Kaydens_mommy06 at 11:37 AM on Nov. 19, 2009

  • One word...STICKERS...every child loves stickers, especially if you put them on a reward chart for your child.

    Answer by LnAsMom16 at 11:56 AM on Nov. 19, 2009

  • You need to learn some new parenting skills. You have been using punishment and rewards, an authoritarian style of parenting. Psychologists know this style doesn't work. If you keep it up your child will become more and more sneaky, difficult to live with and will learn to resent you. Think about what you are doing!

    Authoritative parenting is the style that is most effective. You can go to google and read more about it.

    That's theory. Right now you need help. The book Love & Limits by Elizabeth Crary is very good. She also has a website called Star Parenting. She uses child guidance tools and problem solving methods. She does use rewards because she believes it helps kids learn faster. Here is a chart you can print out for your fridge.

    It's hard to shift thinking from my child has a problem to I have a parenting problem.

    Answer by Gailll at 12:08 PM on Nov. 19, 2009

  • Go to the dollar store or somewhere inexpensive and buy some toys, books, stickers, candy, movies, anything along these lines that is age appropriate and that you allow her to have or play with. When it is time for her reward let her pick something from the box of goodies that you have. And/or draw up a chart or poster with pictures and words for activites, like baking a treat together, or going to the park. Even though these may be things you already do together, she can pick something as her reward and that can be part of what you do together that day and you can make a big deal about it, like, "Today is your special day at the park, what do you want to play on first since this is your day for being such a good girl etc, etc."

    Answer by MaryMW at 1:55 PM on Nov. 19, 2009

  • Thanks MaryMW!!! Great ideas!
    Gailll: My style of parenting is just style!! I believe different things work for different kids. Mine is stubborn, hard-headed and not to receptive to anything I say most days. Regardless if sending her to the bathroom or her room when she whines is the 'proper way to parent' or not..Hell, if it works..I'll keep doing it. Eventually she'll get the hint that whining doesn't get her anywhere, except having to be away from Mommy until she stops.

    When it comes to 3 yr olds, you're always on your toes, and having to think of new things to do when they act up. Keep THEM on THEIR toes. But keeping it consistant is the key!

    Answer by Kaydens_mommy06 at 2:38 PM on Nov. 19, 2009

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