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What would you do if you thought a 13 month old was being mistreated?

My first cousin, whom we are very close to has a little girl who is 13 months. I am starting to feel like his wife is being mean to their daughter. She is going to nursing school, and I have been babysitting for her, free of charge. I love this little girl so much, and she makes great company for my 8 month old.
But when I watch her, her mom complains that I use too many diapers, she says they should be peed in at least twice before being changed. She also says I spoil her by not making her stay in the play pen, she says at home, unless eating or being changed that she is always in there(She uses CIO method, but shouldn't that only be for when a baby is sleepy?) I don't see letting a baby cry all day.
She still has her bottle and she says she doesn't plan on taking it until the baby gives it up on her own, What if she never does, My son is 8 months old and he no longer has a bottle.
(Cont.)

 
BlainesMommy09

Asked by BlainesMommy09 at 11:30 AM on Nov. 19, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 20 (9,173 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • okay -- what i hear is this --- she doesnt feed the baby, takes her places with smoking, leaves her in a playpen all day, smacks her so hard she leaves bruises (btw the definition of abuse in ohio is when a child is hit hard enough to leave a mark, redness, warmth, bruise that lasts longer than a hour) she is neglecting and abusing that baby... ifyou love the baby call it into csb. do it annon. so she wont know it is you. tell them everything you told us. if they do look to take the baby away call csb and tell them you are related to the baby and will take her. try to get full custody of that child. i know it is your neice, and that will hurt your brother but he isnt protecting his little girl if he allows his wife to treat her so terribly... i really hope you dont let that baby girl continue to live in hell....
    AmaliaD

    Answer by AmaliaD at 12:24 PM on Nov. 19, 2009

  • (Cont.) My other cousins have a pool hall where we all hang out from time to time, she takes the baby there with her around all kinds of smoking and drinking, bad laungage etc. I mean I go there too, but I do not take my baby with me.
    We were playing cards the other night and she was holding the baby while she played, well the baby grabbed her hair and she smacked her hand really hard, the baby started screaming and reaching for me. She didn't want to go back to her even a couple hours later.
    I feel like she must not eat enough at home, because everytime she comes over, as soon as her mommy leaves she starts crying for something to eat, and always eats like she is starving.
    She let her ride her walker down the stairs last week and she has a really big knot on her head.
    She also has hand print shaped bruises on her arms.
    I really don't know what to do about this, I feel so bad for this baby and I really wish I could just
    BlainesMommy09

    Answer by BlainesMommy09 at 11:35 AM on Nov. 19, 2009

  • (Cont.) keep her with me all the time, I feel like when I am watching her is the only time she is properly taken care of, what would you do? I am afraid if I say something she wont let me watch her anymore and then she will be neglected and mistreated all the time, rather than just part time like she is now.
    BlainesMommy09

    Answer by BlainesMommy09 at 11:36 AM on Nov. 19, 2009

  • There are two things I am going to say.
    1) If you think she is being abused, Call CPS anonmously.
    2) Eveybody raises their children differently. To me it does not sound like abuse.JMO
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 11:42 AM on Nov. 19, 2009

  • the only thing that leads to real concern is the bruises on her arms. while the rest sounds like bad parenting choices I don't know that i would call it abuse.
    luckysevenwow

    Answer by luckysevenwow at 11:53 AM on Nov. 19, 2009

  • u gotta call the cps anonymously , l ike louise said . cuz even thought shes her mom , not all women were born to be moms and it sounds like shes one of them !

    is not fair for dat lil girl to pay for her moms frustrations ! n by keeping her all d time in the playpen , it shows da she doesnt want to interact with her !

    what a piece of shit that woman is !
    happymom1988

    Answer by happymom1988 at 12:24 PM on Nov. 19, 2009

  • Call anonymously. Someone has to speak for this baby because she can't speak for herself. This is really sad, it must just break your heart. Amalia D gave great advice- if they do take the baby try to be the one they give her to. It might piss off the mother but someone has to speak up for this little girl. Good luck.
    MaryMW

    Answer by MaryMW at 1:25 PM on Nov. 19, 2009

  • If you are that close to her, I would talk to her first before calling CPS. And just because you wouldn't do the things she is doing as a parent doesn't mean she is wrong. Does she sound irresponsible and stupid? Yes but that doesn't give you the right to tell her how to parent, especially when you are watching her child. If you bring your child to a daycare or a sitter they don't decide how to care for your child, they care for them how the parent asks them to, you should do the same, If you really don't agree with it or feel comfortable then you shouldn't watch the child. Also maybe she is depressed or going through a hard time, we can't all be perfect mothers all the time.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:34 PM on Nov. 19, 2009

  • Oh dear Lord in heaven! Why is abuse called a parenting choice these days? Leaving bruises on a baby, not feeding the child enough, neglecting the kid in the playpen all day, not changing diapers? What is WRONG with you people? When does it cross the line of abuse? Who hits a baby because she interferes with your poker game?

    This is why 5 year olds turn up dead after being turned out for prostitution. THis is why 2 year olds are found in coolers floating in the water. Because people will allow abuse to go on, calling it a parenting choice. Stop being so politically correct, you idiots. Call CPS, or whoever. But advocate for the baby.

    You're not trying to tell her HOW to parent. You just want her to BE a parent. Geez.
    apexmommy

    Answer by apexmommy at 1:40 PM on Nov. 19, 2009

  • I would first speak to her husband (your cousin, right?) Explain to him that this is what you've noticed.and make sure he understands that you're just concerned for their daughter. You want to keep the situation calm, because he may feel the need to be defensive since you're questioning his wife's parenting. If the situation isn't remedied, or gets worse then call CPS. Don't let this go ignored either way, and don't let it go for too long if he says 'I'll handle it'. You want this remedied now, because it does sound like her daughter is being mistreated.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 3:02 PM on Nov. 19, 2009

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